step9: making amends
by Gina281087
Summary: Someone said one day "sorry seems to be the hardest word". Well, it's true. Danny/OC, Sam/Martin
1. Default Chapter

**Step # 9: Making amends**

**DISCLAIMER: ****I don't own any of WaT characters.**

**NOTE****: I had this idea a long time ago but I never managed to put words on it before. It's about Danny but also about Smarty. I wish they were still together...Oh yeah, Elena leaves the team in the beginning...I don't really like her.**

**Chapter 1**

"You still sure about that?" Sam asked the black-haired woman in front of her.

"Yeah, Sophie and I need to fly away from what happened with Carlos and I really could use some sun. It's bloody freezing here..." Elena replied rubbing her arms as Sam smiled. She didn't want to smile actually but she forced herself to.

"Watch out L.A.! Here comes Elena Delgado" Sam said, her forced smile becoming larger. Elena laughed then sighed. It was time they left. Sam took Sophie in her arms and gave her a peck on her cheek. "You take care of your Mum, huh?" she whispered to her ear as Sophie nodded her head. She then hugged Elena as they both tried not to cry.

"I will miss ya"

"I'll miss you too..."

Sam watched them go away, hand in hand and waved them goodbye just before they entered the departure gate. Elena wasn't her best friend but she was a good co-worker and Samantha was sad to see her leave. She went back to her car, settled down behind the wheel and closed her eyes. She had been sick since the morning and another wave of nausea came over her. Actually she had been sick for a few days now and since she was late, she perfectly knew what it meant.

"Shit!"

She couldn't get pregnant. Especially from a one night-stand. She took a deep breath, trying to curb the nausea and waiting patiently for tears to come. But they didn't. She just felt numb, tired and very lonely. She needed Martin right now, she needed him so badly. She needed his arms wrapped around her, his soothing words, his kisses and above all, she needed his love. His true and perfect love. But it was way too late, Martin had moved on and was dating this young and beautiful lawyer. He was with her at the moment, having diner in a classy restaurant while she was alone in her car, probably pregnant from a stranger. When did things become so wrong?


	2. A rude awakening

This chapter is mostly about Sam and is pretty short. The next one will be longer, I promise

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**Chapter 2**

Samantha vaguely heard something ringing and thought for a few seconds that it was part of her dream till she realized it was her cell phone. She rolled over, held out her hand towards the bedside table and started groping around for the small object that was disturbing her sleep.

"Spade?" she answered with a tired tone, her eyes still closed, a wave of tiredness coming over her. After tossing and turning for a few hours, she had finally managed to fall asleep around 4 a.m.

"Hey Sam, it's Danny, where are you?...I need you here" she heard her co-worker say, half-annoyed, half-worried.

"Danny? What-what time is it?"

"It's 10 a.m. Sam and we got a case" Danny replied.

Sam turned her eyes towards the alarm clock and sighed. "Dammit" she uttered as Danny frowned on the other end of the line.

"Sam, you all right?"

"Yeah, I forgot to set the alarm, I'm sorry..."

"It's OK, it happens but now hurry up. I'm driving to Stuyvesant High School, 345 Chambers Street, meet me over there and I'll brief you."

"Yeah, thanks, bye"

She hung up, rubbing her face nervously. She knew she had to get up but she just couldn't, feeling a huge weight on her chest, which caused her difficulty in breathing. Samantha was a really strong woman, she had gone through a lot and had always made it on her own but right now she felt like her life had fallen apart. It took her a little while to collect herself but she eventually managed to get out of the bed and she walked slowly to the bathroom. After a quick shower, she headed towards the living room and was about to leave when her attention was drawn to a small object put on the coffee table. A pregnancy test kit.

She took it in her trembling hands and swallowed hard, her anxiety increasing. She was perfecty aware that there was nothing worse than not knowing but she couldn't bring herself to take the test. "Damn Sam, how could you've been so stupid?" she thought before putting it in her purse. She took a deep breath and went out of the apartment, almost ready for a new day's work. She was glad to work with Danny this morning because she didn't feel strong enough to face Martin. Everything was simpler with Danny. They were friends since a long time and even if they teased each other all the time, there was no sexual tension between them. They had a brotherly relationship and twenty minutes later, she was relieved to see his smirking face.

"Hey hot stuff, late night last night?" Danny smiled, having noticed the black circles under her eyes. Sam's heart clenched when she remembered that her last one night-stand had probably got her pregnant.

"What I do with my life is my business, OK?" she snapped but immediately regretted what she had said. It wasn't Danny's fault and she had no right to take it out on him. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm a bit on edge..."

"I just wanted to be nice..." Danny raised his hands.

"Yeah, I know Danny, I didn't sleep well last night, that's all..."

"Let's forget it. So, we have a missing female teacher, Holly Moore, 33..."

"Who reported her missing?"

"A colleague of hers. Holly hasn't come to work for two days and she doesn't answer her phone or cell. So worried, she dropped by her apartment yesterday night and as she wasn't there, she called NYPD. According to her, Holly has no boyfriend, her entire life is dedicated to her pupils."

"Alright, so let's interview them." Sam said, heading towards a group of teens.

Danny watched her walk away, puzzled. There was something wrong, he knew it.


	3. Another Day's Work

**Chapter 3**

"Miss Moore, she is so cool! She's more than a teacher for us" a twelfth- grade student said, putting her long dark hair behind her ear.

"What do you mean, Mandy?" Sam asked, opening her notepad.

"She's interested in us and not only in our grades. Every time we have a problem, we know we can talk to her…She really cares."

_["__Ok__ guys__, that's enough for today__…Don't forget the essay for next Friday"__ Holly Moore said as the students started gathering their things__ chatting and laughing and left the classroom in a babble of voices._

_"Bye Miss Moore"_

_"Bye…Ehm Mandy, can I talk to you for a sec?"__ Holly asked causing the girl to stop._

_"Yeah sure…"_

_Holly waited __for all the students to be out of the room, then sat down on the corner of her desk and __looked deeply into Mandy's eyes._

_"So tell me Mandy, how are you?"_

_"I'm fine" the brunette shrugged_

_"Look, you're one of my most brilliant student but you've been acting weird__ lately__. Your grades are in free fall, you're permanently absent-minded, you skip school…that's not like you. Have you got problems?__" she asked __softly__, her sweet eyes still locked on her student's._

_"__Uh__m…you promise me it will stay between us?"_

_"Of course" Holly squeezed her arm gently._

_"I'm a bit embarrassed…the truth is I got money issues.__ My Dad got fired last week and we no longer manage to make ends meet. I have a part-time job, that's why I'm so tired and I can't__ focus on my schoolwork anymore" Mandy told her as tears started forming in her eyes, "__I think I'm gonna quit school and work full-time. I __got__ two baby brothers__ and…" _

_"__Calm down, calm down__ honey__"__ her teacher cut her off, "There is no way__ t__hat I would let you quit school! You're too bright and y__ou have to go to college. Listen, I'm going to talk to your father and we'll find a solution, trust me, we will. What would I do without my best__ student, huh?" she added with __a reassuring smile playing over her lips._

"And she did find a solution. That's the way things go with Miss Moore, she always finds a solution for everything. She's a real guardian angel for everyone here"

"Thanks Mandy" Sam said with a faint smile and walked towards Danny as Mandy's sentence kept running through her head She really could use a guardian angel right now…

"What do you got?" Danny asked Sam.

"From what I heard, she's a perfect teacher and a perfect person, what about you?"

"The same, everybody likes her and no one can even imagine her having enemies. She dated a colleague four months ago but they broke up on good terms and stayed good friends. Come, I don't think we'll hear anything more here…" Danny said and they both got back to their respective cars. As she was about to open the door, Sam suddenly felt dizzy and started staggering, but before she fainted, Danny was already holding her strongly to prevent her from collapsing. An arm looped under his co-worker's armpit, he opened the door and made her sit down on the seat.

"Samantha, do you hear me? Come on, wake up " he said, unable to hide the fear in his voice. He tapped her cheek lightly and her eyes fluttered open to meet Danny's worried face.

"What happened?" she asked, her vision still hazy.

"You've lost consciousness. What's going on Sam, are you sick or something?" Danny replied taking care to speak slowly.

"I'm fine" Sam said, knowing what had caused her blackout, "I didn't sleep well last night and I haven't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch. I just had a drop in blood pressure, that's all…" She unsuccessfully tried to reassure Danny.

"Go home and take some rest, I'll tell Jack you're not feeling well…" he told her kindly, his hand still rested on her shoulder.

"No Danny, I'm okay…" Sam opened her purse and took a candy bar out, "when I have eaten, I'll feel better"

Danny wasn't convinced but he finally gave up when he saw Sam's determined eyes. Besides, she looked better, having got some color back in her cheeks.

**FBI headquarters, half an hour later…**

After some negotiation with the blond woman, Danny had finally let her take her car, even if he was worried sick all the way back to the office. As they were walking towards the bullpen, he couldn't help looking at her, he wanted to be ready in case she would faint again. Feeling watched, Sam started rolling her eyes.

"I-am-fine-Danny!" she articulated each word with a smile on her lips as Danny looked skeptical, "and please, don't tell anything to Jack, I don't want him to send me back home" she added with pleading eyes.

"On one condition" Danny replied.

"Name it"

"If you feel dizzy or anything, you tell me right away, ok?"

"Yeah Dad…" Sam grinned but her smile soon disappeared when she entered the bullpen. Martin. Sat at his desk, he was absorbed in something on his computer screen. Without looking at him, Sam headed quickly towards her own desk, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. Lately, it had been almost unbearable to see him everyday, to see the smile that other woman put on his face. She knew she had to be glad for him but she couldn't. She was jealous, sad, lonely and probably pregnant but the last thing she wanted right now was her co-workers and friends to know how desperate she was. So, she forced herself to smile the way she did for several days now.

"Something interesting?" Danny asked Martin, a hand put on the back on his chair.

"We're looking for Mother Teresa, man. Her record is clean, she has never had a fine and she gives practically all her money to charities."

"Yeah, it corresponds to what we were told by her colleagues and students. So, why would a so perfect person disappear?" Danny asked, not expecting an answer.

"I maybe know why she is that perfect…" Vivian suddenly said, "listen to this…On May 1994 Holly's single mother died and she got the custody of her 13-year-old brother. Three years later, they both had a car accident and her brother didn't survive. She was the driver."

"Yeah, I guess she wants some redemption. When did the crash happen?" Sam asked.

"9 July 1997, why?"

"I thought she wanted to commemorate his brother's death anniversary but since we're in September…"

"Yeah, we have to find something else" Danny said then lifted his eyes up to meet Jack's gaze, who had just come back from Holly Moore's apartment.

"You found something at her place?" he asked.

"According to her neighbors, she's …" Jack began but they others cut him off.

"A saint, yes we know" they replied in chorus.

They spent all the afternoon looking for something likely to find her. From dead ends to dead ends, hours passed by till they received a phone call from NYPD. They had found her corpse, lay behind a Dumpster. Jack and Danny met the local police at the scene of the crime.

"How did she die?" Danny asked a policeman.

"She was stabbed, this world is crazy" he answered sighing.

"Yes it is…" Danny whispered, then turned his head to Jack, "What a waste! She dedicated her life to others and ended up being stabbed in this damn alleyway"

_[ Holly Moore was walking home when a young man accosted her brutally._

_"Gimme your purse, now!" he threatened her with a __dagger in his__ hand. He had blood-shot eyes, some sweat on his forehead and his hands were shaking badly. He was obviously in need of a fix. However, despite his miserable appearance, Holly Moore recognized him right away._

_"Jimmy?" she exclaimed, "Do you remember me? I was your teacher two years ago. Oh my God, what happened to you?"_

_"I said, give me your purse!" he shouted, not listening to her._

_"__Calm down Jimmy, calm down" she said gently, "there is another way."_

_"Shut up! I want your money now or I kill you!" he replied, getting more and more agitated._

_"You need help sweetie, I know you're a good person. Let me help you…" she spoke softly as she used to do so many times before. Jimmy seemed to think during a few seconds but his mind was too hazy due to__ drug withdrawal. Holly stepped towards him and stretched out his hand to squeeze his arm but he freaked out and stabbed her in her stomach. When he realized what he had done, he hid her body and ran away with her purse._

"Yeah and we probably won't know what really happened…" his boss replied, his jaw clenched as Danny looked away. That was unfair.

Twenty minutes later, they were back at the office. After finishing the paperwork, Danny headed towards Sam's desk.

"Hey, grab your coat, I'll buy you a drink"


	4. A Drink, a Chat, a Test

**Chap****ter 4**

"…She was to turn 100 the next day, but crossing the road with her daughter to go to her own birthday party, her wheelchair was hit by the truck delivering her birthday cake. I'm not kidding, I swear! I've been told this story by Jon Maddox from the Homicide Investigations Unit" Danny said with a grin, "Crazy, huh?"

Sam couldn't help smiling. Danny had this way of acting when he was telling stories or jokes that always made her smile, even tonight.

"Oh my God, is that a smile? No, I'm not dreaming, it's really a smile!" Danny told Samantha who rolled her eyes but didn't stop smiling.

"I'm sorry Danny, I know I've been morose all day long." Sam replied, taking a sip of her club soda, "I just had a bad night…", she didn't want to give further explanations even if she knew for a fact that it was the reason her co-worker had taken her to that bar. She ran a hand through her hair and changed the subject, "How do you feel since Elena left?". She felt bad not to ask this question before but she had been too overwhelmed by her own problems .

"Not that bad…It didn't break my heart if it's what you're worried about. You know, she kind of used me and I let her do because I was desperately looking for stability in my social life. I wanted to be in love, to wake up every day by the same woman's side, to finally have a family but I was only fooling myself. We both realized we weren't in love with each other and we stopped the relationship before a cute little girl I know become too attached to me. We couldn't hurt Sophie…I loved that girl, I would have treated her like my own daughter but it won't have worked because I wasn't in love with Elena.. I'm gonna miss them but it's better that way. I guess." Danny sighed slightly, looking blankly at his half-empty glass.

"You're a great guy Danny and I'm sure you'll find the right woman, you'll have a bunch of children and they'll be proud of their Dad." Sam said truthfully, she really hoped the best for him.

"I had already found the right one…" Danny murmured to himself as his mind started travelling back over the years.

"What?"

"Nothing" Danny shrugged then turned his head to Sam and looked deeply in her tired eyes, «How are you Sam?" He wasn't gonna give up so easily, he was determined to know what was wrong with her co-worker.

"I'm Ok" Sam answered nonchalantly, but she didn't manage to fool Danny.

"Since when have we known each other?"

"…Ehm…seven years now, why?" Samantha frowned.

"And do you trust me?"

"Of course Danny, you're my partner and you saved my butt a lot of times!"

"No, I mean, do you consider me as a friend?"

"Sure, more than a friend, you're a brother to me." Samantha said truthfully.

Danny couldn't help smiling, touched by what Sam had just told him.

«So tell me sis, what's wrong? And don't tell me you're fine" Danny told her tenderly and sternly in the same time. Sam sighed twice and looked away. After a few seconds, she eventually spoke:

"I think I'm pregnant."

It took Danny several seconds to react. He opened his eyes wide, then shook his head.

"You're pregnant" he repeated incredulously, "I…I didn't know you had a boyfriend"

"I haven't" Sam started blushing, there was nothing in her social life she could be proud of.

"Oh…oh…" were the only words Danny could say.

"Yes."

Silence. Only the beautiful song of Ben E. King that was aired in the bar could be heard.

_If the sky that we look upon_

_Should tumble and fall_

_Or the mountains should crumble in the sea_

_I won't cry, I won't cry_

_No, I won't shed a tear_

_Just as long as you stand_

_Stand by me…_

"So, ehm, how come?" Danny eventually spoke.

"You want know how to make babies, Danny?" Sam smiled faintly. As he didn't answer, she carried on, "Well, I met that guy Brian, we had a few drinks and…Come on, I don't have to tell you how a one night-stand works!"

"You ever hear of something called condom? Oh Sam, you're smart, how could you have done such a thoughtless thing?"

"I was wasted OK?" Sam raised her voice, "And I don't think it's the right time to criticize me, I feel bad enough"

"You have to take a STD test" Danny said, a serious look upon his face.

"I know, but there is another test I have to take before" Sam replied, "and I don't wanna take it alone"

Danny looked at her and put a few bucks on the table. Twenty minutes later, he opened the door of his apartment and let Sam in.

"You want something to drink, to eat?" he asked her, taking her coat and hanging it on the coat rack.

"No, thanks…I think I'm gonna take that test now or I won't have the strength anymore"

"Yeah, sure. The bathroom is still at the same place" he told her kindly. As she went past him, he grabbed her arm and squeezed it gently. He said nothing but she could read all his support in his big hazel eyes. Her lips mimed a _thank you_ and she headed towards the bathroom, holding the pregnancy test kit tightly in her right hand. Three long minutes later, Danny saw her walking out of the room with a indescribable look on her face.

"Danny…" her voice broke.

Danny rushed towards the blond woman and wrapped her strong arms around her. She buried her face in his chest and cried all the tears she had been unable to cry for the last few days.

"I…I can't be pregnant …Not like th-this…not now…I can't be a single mother…I…." she said between two sobs.

"Shhh...It's gonna be Ok sweetheart, you are not alone…Shh calm down" he told her kindly, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. He felt so powerless right now. He kept holding her for a long time till she managed to calm down and accepted to have some rest in Danny's room. She was much too tired to talk about what she was going to do in the future. Danny stayed with her until she fell asleep, then stepped towards the living room. He lay down on the couch, crossed his arms behind his head and stared blankly at the ceiling. He knew he wouldn't sleep that night.


	5. Friends Talking

**Chapter 5**

By the loud sound of his cell's alarm clock, Danny woke up in the day before's clothes, feeling a sharp pain in his back from sleeping on the couch all night. Actually, he hadn't really slept, only dozed off from time to time, his thoughts having kept him awake most of the night. He couldn't believe what was happening to Sam, he didn't recognize her anymore. He couldn't imagine her getting drunk in a sordid bar and having unsafe sex with a total stranger. Never before Danny had seen his friend so desperate and vulnerable and it really broke his heart. Groaning, he reached out and grabbed the cell phone to shut the alarm off. He sat down and blinked a couple of times, trying to bring himself out of his sleeping sate and to get accustomed to the semi-darkness of the living room. Then he saw her, sat on the windowsill and staring blankly into the space, lost in her own reflection.

Dawn was breaking and for the first time in a few days, Sam felt a bit better, stronger. It was easier since she had taken the test. She had managed to release the built-up tension and had slept almost seven hours without waking. But above all she knew she wasn't as alone as she thought she was. She had been afraid of Danny's reaction but he hadn't judged her or felt pity for her, he had only been genuinely concerned about her, her health and her future. She knew Danny was a great friend but she had never thought he could be _that_ great. She put a hand on her belly, thinking of what she was gonna do. Was she gonna keep the baby and change radically her life? She had never really thought about abortion before, she had never had to. In theory, she was against the principle but now she didn't know anymore. The only thing she knew was that she was far from being ready to be a mother. She then thought about him, Martin…Never again they'd be a couple now; she had blown all her chances. She sighed heavily, trying to swallow the tears that were forming in her eyes when she felt a presence next to her. Tilting her head to her left, she met Danny's tired eyes.

"Morning" she whispered.

"Hey…" Danny replied, trying to read her emotions on her face, "How did you sleep?"

"Better than you obviously" she stared at him. Danny looked, indeed, pretty miserable. He had black circles under his eyes, his hair was a mess and his shirttail was hanging out. Sam didn't use to see him so untidy. "Your bed is very comfortable"

"Yes I know, women are crazy about it" Danny smirked, hoping to make her smile, which worked.

"I'm sure they are, you player!" Sam laughed gently, aware of his reputation. Danny looked at her tenderly and put a hand on her shoulder.

"How do you feel today?"

Sam laughed bitterly. "I'm fine…my life's a mess, I'm pregnant and I'm in love with a man who doesn't love me." She bit her bottom lip. Words had slipped out of her mouth before she realized it. She hadn't meant to say them. She didn't want Danny to know but it was too late.

"You're still in love with him, huh?"

"Yeah, madly, deeply and desperately in love with him, pathetic isn't it?" she looked away.

"No Sam but you have to move on," Danny replied on his tender tone, "I know it's hard but you have to forget him. I have no right to judge your relationship with Jack, but it's not sane. I understand, he has a strong personality, he has experience but…" Samantha cut him off with a laugh.

"What is so funny?" Danny raised an eyebrow, startled.

"I don't love Jack. The man I'm in love with is younger and has incredible blue eyes…" Sam answered as Danny opened his eyes wide.

"Martin"

"Yes" Sam whispered as a lump appeared in her throat. Damn even hearing his name was too hard for her, how could she forget him?

Danny frowned, shaking his head. "I-I don't understand. I thought Martin had broken up because you were still in love with Jack…" he said as Sam sighed.

"That's what he thought at the time and what he still thinks but it's not the truth. The truth is…" she shook her head, "look, I don't really feel like talking about it. And it's too late now" the sad tone of her voice made Danny's heart clench.

"I can't watch you suffer like this and do nothing"

"You've already done a lot for me Danny and don't worry, I'll figure out a way to forget him."

"If it is any consolation to you, I don't like his new girlfriend. You're a lot prettier and smarter and…" he said but once again was cut off by Sam's chuckle.

"You're sweet Danny, but I've seen her. She's a rich, beautiful and successful lawyer. They match perfectly. Before you know it, they will get engaged and will have a wonderful wedding in the most luxurious place in New York…"

"Sam…"

"Don't listen to me, I'm bitter. I'm fine, I promise and I have good friends" she smiled, taking his hand. Danny squeezed and smiled tenderly. "Look, I'm gonna take a shower, I can't show up at work in this state"

"Yeah, you look like shit" she smiled, "I'm gonna head home and change clothes, we meet at the office?" she added.

"No way. You will call for a sick day and take some rest or I'll get angry" he said, looking at her with stern eyes.

Sam opened her mouth to protest when she realized he was right. "Ok, I will call Jack, then my GP to have an appointment. There are some tests left I have to take"

Danny nodded then headed to the bathroom. Showered and shaven, he put on a suit, still thinking of the blond woman sat on his windowsill. He got out of his room and came back into the living room.

"I called Jack" Sam told him, "I'm gonna go home and change clothes but…"

"What?"

"Can I stay in your apartment today? I feel too lonely in mine…"

"Sam, mi casa es tu casa, you don't have to ask" he replied, "You'll find an extra key in the drawer of the sideboard. Look, I gotta go, you sure you'll be ok?"

"Yeah, go" she smiled and he left. Wrapping her arms around herself, she stepped towards the sideboard. Rummaging in the drawer to find the key, she came across an old photo. Danny was young, like 20 or a bit older and had an arm put around a black-haired woman's shoulders. Samantha looked at the back of the picture and read: _Caitlyn and I, 1998_. Since she knew him, Danny had never mentioned a Caitlyn or even a Kate. Who was she?

**FBI HEADQUARTERS**

As Danny entered the bullpen, he saw Martin who was fighting on the phone. As he came closer, he heard some snatches of the conversation. At first, Danny had thought that Martin was arguing with his new girlfriend, but now he realized he was wrong.

_"No, I don't know where she is…Probably in Las Vegas squandering your money! Why did she call you? What? She wants to come back in New York? Great…Just don't tell her __I changed__ my__apartment__…Yeah, I know, it's my sister but don't be hypocritical, you're not glad to see her coming back, are you? Listen, we'll talk about it later ok? Yeah, bye…"_ Martin hung up the phone angrily.

"A problem?" Danny asked him, sitting at his desk.

"Family can just piss you off sometimes…" Martin replied sighing.

"Tell me about it!" Danny yawned.

"Rough night?"

"Pretty rough indeed…" Danny replied. He wished he could have told him about Sam because Martin had no clue what she was going through or how much she loved him.

"Seems like it's gonna be a paperwork day, it won't wake you up"

It was indeed a paperwork day. Usually Danny hated those days but today, he was glad to go home early. On his way back, he had got some Chinese takeout for Sam and himself because he knew she wouldn't have eaten for all day.

"Sam, you're here?" he said, taking his coat off. "Yeah", he heard her say from the kitchen. He approached her showing her the food, "Hope you're hungry?"

"Yes, my nausea stopped. And I love Chinese food, thanks."

"Did you set an appointment with you GP?" Danny leant against the wall.

"He was free today, so I went to see him. He took a blood test and it came back positive. It's confirmed, I'm pregnant…" she tried to smile. "He also ran some test for the STD. It was negative, but I have to wait 6 months and run another test to know if…you know…"

"I'm sure it will come back negative too" Danny rubbed her arm. "What did you do the rest of the afternoon?"

"I watched TV and did nothing else."

"Good. No problems to find the key?"

"No, it was next to an old photo of yours. Sorry, I couldn't help seeing it; I didn't know you had a beard at the time…"

"Only during three months, everybody makes mistakes" Danny smiled, "Which photo was it?"

"Ehm…you were with a young woman in a park or something" Sam answered when she saw a shadow coming across Danny's face. "Caitlyn" he said in a whisper.

"I don't want to be inquisitive, but who is she?" Sam asked.

"She's my step number 9"

"Your what?"


	6. Caitlyn

_Thank you for the reviews, they are always welcome and they encourage me a lot_

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**Chapter 6**

Danny sighed. The Pandora's box had been opened, the box that contained his past, his fears and all the things he was ashamed of. The box he had buried long time ago but that, suddenly, had just been dug up. He motioned Sam to take a seat at the table and they both sat down silently, Danny playing absent-mindedly with his food. He said no word during a couple of minutes then eventually spoke with a shaky voice, as memories of his past life swirled through his mind.

"First time I got plastered, I was thirteen. It was some days after Rafi lost my custody. You know, I'd never been attracted by alcohol before, it always reminded me my father and his breath full of beer, but that time, I don't know, I wanted to try. And the more I drank, the more my problems and my pain seemed to fade away...," he said as Sam listened to him carefully, her eyes locked on his frowning face, "It was also the worst hangover I remember" he added with a sad smile. Sam smiled back at him, waiting for him to carry on. "By 16, I had become an alcoholic and I **only** admitted I had a problem at the age of 22. I was very good at denial…Do you know what I did when I realized I was an addict?"

"Nope," Sam shook her head.

"I drank, to forget I was a drunkard…that was the day –and the night- before my bar exam, which I failed, of course…" Danny's voice trailed off, as his ashamed expression gave a lump in Sam's throat. She still remembered Danny's first day's work in the missing person unit. It was a self-confident, arrogant rookie and he really got on her nerves. But she had learnt to know him and to see the amazing man he was behind the professional mask he wore every day. However, she had never seen him so insecure and she honestly didn't know how to react.

"You fought your addiction Danny and it takes a very strong man to do that" she said gently.

"I fought it too late…" Danny took a bite of his chicken curry, avoiding Sam's eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I lost Caitlyn" he said as she saw him clench his jaw.

"She was your girlfriend?"

"Yes…We…ehm…we met at Law school. At that time, my relationships didn't last more than a couple of weeks, but it was different with her. It lasted two years and then…I left her ."

"Why?"

"I wasn't a good guy Sam…"

"I can't believe it" Sam said simply. For her, Danny was fundamentally good, she couldn't think otherwise.

"I was a bastard Sam, really, you would've hated me…I hated myself. And when I realized how bad I was, I did what seemed right to me. You know, Caitlyn was the kind of woman who could always see the good in everyone, especially in me, no matter how much I hurt her. So, one day, I told her she meant nothing to me, that I didn't love her and that was it, she left and I never saw her again. I knew it was the only way to make her get away from me, but the look in her eyes…" he ran his hand through his hair, "it will haunt me forever"

Sam kept looking at him with sweet eyes. "I'm sorry Danny…I didn't know…"

"I had never told this to anyone before you…there's nothing to boast about. I was a loser and I didn't want you or the rest of the team to know"

"Sorry Danny, but you didn't manage to fool us, we all know you can be a pain in the ass sometimes" Sam joked and Danny stuck out his tongue playfully. "So, what's that step 9?" she asked.

"Well, I go to an AA meeting twice a week and we follow a twelve-step program. It went well until the ninth step, that is making amends. It's not that easy to apologize, trust me. But I did it, I apologized to everyone I had hurt, everyone but her…"

"Caitlyn…"

"Yes. I've never summed up the courage to face her and just say 'sorry'. And now, it's too late to apologize."

"It's never too late Danny…you know, if you want, I can go and see her with you"

"You're nice, but what's the point? She's probably married with two wonderful children of her own; I can't show up and upset her life by bringing painful memories. It's not fair; she deserves happiness, more than anyone…"

"I know women Danny and if she really loved you, she'd be glad to know that for you as well, it was real. I think that, no matter how happy she can be right now, deep inside, she needs to hear that she didn't waste two years loving a man who never loved her back.

"I don't know Sam, it's been 10 years…maybe I'm looking for excuses, but I really don't think it's a good idea."

"If you say so…" she replied, then silence fell on the both of them.

"Life's a bitch, huh?" Sam finally broke it, a smirk upon her face.

"Oh yeah" Danny laughed.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the other side of the city, in a luxurious restaurant…

Martin was sipping casually his glass of red wine, as the woman in front of him told her about how proud she was of saving this young politician's reputation in Court. What Martin didn't know – or didn't want to know- was that this very politician was actually guilty of sexual harassment and rape on his secretary and that, thanks to his attorney –Stacy, Martin's actual girlfriend-, he had escaped the sentence he deserved. Besides being a gifted attorney, Stacy was also one of the city's best-known women, at least in the political world. Daughter of Senator Rockwell, she had had the pretty same childhood as Martin's. Suddenly, between the "you should have seen her face, I broke her in a couple of minutes", Martin felt trapped. He had just realized he was living the life he had always wanted to escape. He shook his head, wanting to make this feeling of oppression go away. He was asking himself too many questions and he knew what had triggered it: his sister.

* * *

Las Vegas, at Caesar's palace

She looked at her cards: a jack of hearts and a two of spades. Damn! she didn't even have a pair. However, she gave no sign of what she really felt. If there was one thing she had learnt from his father was never showing her emotions. She locked her blue eyes on the man sat in front of her and waited for him to play. The others players had already folded, so it was a fight between the both of them, and by the sweat on his forehead, a fight she was about to win.

"I'm folding" he said reluctantly, one long minute later.

She smiled, she had been lucky all day. She collected the chips, as a huge grin appeared now on her face.

"Hey, can I see your cards?" the man asked her.

"You know the rules dear, you pay, I show…" she replied.

"Forget it…"

She shrugged her shoulders and stood up. She was tired of playing cards. She wasn't a gambler, not at all, hold'em poker had always been a hobby for her and only a hobby. But there was something exciting in spending her Dad's money, the only thing he had ever given to her. Moreover, she was gifted and she liked to win.

* * *

Two hours later, Danny went to bed. Sam had returned home half an hour before even if Danny had insisted for her to stay another night at his place. He lay down and replayed in his head the conversation he had had with Sam. It had been long since the last time he had thought of Caitlyn but now he couldn't take his mind off her. Memories flashed before his eyes as he tried unsuccessfully to make them go away.

_Danny felt bad, really bad. For once in his life, he had become aware of his problem__ -__ even if he hadn't really admitted it yet__- ,__ but he didn't know what to do. __The only thing h__e knew__ was that__ he couldn't go on like this, hurting people a__round him and hurting himself. He opened the door of Caitlyn's apartment and found her asleep on the couch, her school books spread out on the floor. She had been working a lot lately and she was exhausted. He knelt down in front of her face and stayed there for while, just hearing her br__eathe. A tear__ rolled down__ his cheek__ and he kissed her temple. When she wakes up, he will tell her those wicked words, those painful words and she will go away.__He stroked her face, this face he would never stroke __again,__ telling himself over and over again it was the best solution._

"I'm so sorry Caitlyn" Danny whispered in the dark.


	7. Calista

A huge thank to the ones who left a review

**Chapter 7**

Three months had passed and Sam's pregnancy began to show, at least, that's what she thought every morning when she looked at her stomach in the mirror. However, being pregnant didn't scare her anymore, on the contrary she was getting used to the idea of being a mother…being a mommy.

Danny was helping her a lot and his love for children was infectious. Every time he talked about kids, some sparkles appeared in his big brown eyes and Sam regretted not being in love with him because he would sure be a wonderful father for her child. But they were friends, good friends and it would never change. She knew that the baby would be born without a father, but he or she would have a loving mother and a funny sweet uncle to take care of him/her. No, Sam wasn't afraid anymore. The only thing she had to do now was tell Jack and the rest of the team, and she was ready to do it this day.

As for the boys, they were doing a very good job at ignoring their personal issues. Danny was still looking for excuses not to talk to Caitlyn but Sam had stopped telling him to do it. After all, she had never admitted her feelings to Martin, so she considered she had not right to judge his actions, or non-actions. 

Martin, for its part, was still dating Stacy Rockwell. He had got rid of his feeling of oppression and only saw the positive aspects of this relationship, not realizing he was slowly losing his soul. He had changed for a few months; he had become colder, more arrogant and more insensitive. But for once in his life, his parents were proud of him and that was all that mattered to him. He could still remember the look of his father when he had known about his addiction; he had often disappointed him but never to that point. But now, he had an 'appropriate' girlfriend, a good match as his father said, and he attended almost every gala his mother organized, talking about politics, power and money with 'important' people, people as shallow as rich. Yes, Martin had changed.

The members of the team and especially Danny had noticed the changes in his behavior but they didn't know how to tell their co-worker and best friend that he was slowly but surely turning into a jerk. Moreover, each of them was focused on their own problems. Sam was thinking about her pregnancy; Danny was worried about Sam and in the same time, was thinking about all the failed relationships he had had in his life; Vivian had trouble with his son and his teenage fits of anger; and Jack was getting tired of everything. Since the shooting, nothing had been the same. Martin had gotten addicted to painkillers, Sam's past had come back to haunt her but his real problem for now was Danny. Their relationship was falling apart and he regretted the time his young agent had a blind trust in him. He couldn't count the times they both had argued and even fought since Dornvald and his goons had tried to kill his agents. On good days, everything was all right; they joked and everyone could think they were close but on bad days, that were now more numerous than the good days, all their problems resurfaced and they eventually ended up saying things they both regretted.

However today wasn't a good day to deal with their respective problems, Holly Miller, a 30-year-old woman was missing and they had to find her. As Martin and Danny left the bullpen, heading towards the elevator, they heard someone shout "Agent Fitzgerald, wait…". Martin turned around and a shadow came across his face. A young agent was walking his way but that was not what bothered Martin. What bothered him was that he was accompanied by a gorgeous woman, a woman Martin didn't expect to see. "Fuck, that can't be real" he mumbled under his breath as Danny raised an eyebrow, startled. "Here he is" the agent told the woman as they drew level with Martin. 

"Thank you" the woman smiled at the agent, who walked away. She then turned her head to Martin and they started gazing into each other's eyes, no word being spoken. Danny didn't know her but somehow she looked familiar to him. Frowning, he looked at her carefully and noticed she had the same piercing blue eyes as Martin's. He then recalled the phone conversation he had overheard a few months ago.

"_No, I don't know where she is…Probably in Las Vegas squandering your money! Why did she call you? What? She wants to come back in New York? Great…Just don't tell her I changed my apartment…Yeah, I know, it's my sister but don't be hypocritical, you're not glad to see her coming back, are you? Listen, we'll talk about it later ok? Yeah, bye…"_

At the time Danny had thought that he hadn't heard properly but now, he realized he did have. But could she really be his sister? From what he knew about Martin's family- that is not much-, Martin was an only child; but the woman who stood in front of him was definitively a Fitzgerald, except maybe in her choice of clothes. While Martin was wearing a classic grey suit, she was wearing some old blue jeans, a navy blue hood sweat top, and her untamed curly hair was scooped up in a loose bun. After what seemed an eternity, Martin eventually spoke:

"What are you doin' here?" his voice was as cold as ice and Danny started feeling embarrassed, not knowing if he should stay or walk away.

"Should I have a reason to say 'hi' to my big brother?" she tried to be cheerful but Martin kept looking daggers at her.

"Yes! I haven't seen you in…well…three years, so I'm guessing that if you're here, that means you're in trouble…"

"No, I'm not! I just came back in New York to make up with you…"she said, her eyes being much softer than his. Martin started laughing sarcastically, "yeah right"

"Look Martin, I'll wait for you in the car, ok?" Danny said, wanting to leave them alone. 

"I'm coming with you, I have nothing to say to _her_" he replied, looking away from his sister as she gently grabbed his arm, "Marty, listen…" she began but he sharply pulled his arm free from her grip.

"No, you are gonna listen to me! You had many opportunities to come and see me, for example when I was in hospital after being shot but you didn't. So, please don't play the hi-bro-it's-been—a-while card with me, you're a stranger to me and to the rest of the family. Nobody wants you here, gotcha?" he yelled as tears welled up in her eyes. He then walked away from her and headed towards the elevator, not bothering to see if Danny was following or not.

"I'm…I'm sure he didn't mean it…" Danny gently told Martin's sister, who was swallowing her tears back. He couldn't believe what had just happened before his eyes; he had never seen Martin being so cruel before.

"Martin had been shot?" Martin's sister asked, stunned.

"Yes, eleven months ago, he nearly died…I was with him during the shooting, he went through a lot…" his voice trailed off, remembering those painful memories.

Her blue eyes darkened, "And of course they forgot telling me…" she said to no one in particular. "How he is now?" she then asked Danny. He sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders; how Martin was? He couldn't tell, he had changed so much…

"Could tell him that…that…"she shook her head, "just keep an eye on him for me, please…" she asked as Danny nodded gently. "Are you gonna be alright?" he put a hand on her arm.

She looked at Danny, "Sure…where is the bathroom, please?"

"Down the hall, on your left"

"Thanks"

He watched her go away, feeling anger boil in his veins. He didn't know her or what happened between her and her brother, but what Martin had told her was cruel. Danny knew too well what was like not to be wanted by his family. He shook his head and walked towards the elevator. What was wrong with Martin?

* * *

Samantha opened the bathroom door and her attention was drawn to a young woman leant against the wall, her eyes closed. She frowned, trying to remember where she had seen her before. When the woman opened her big blue eyes, Sam knew right away who she was.

_Sam took Martin's hand as they entered the church. He squeezed it gently, glad she was there. His beloved aunt Bonnie had died from cancer three days ago, and even if he tried to be strong for his uncle and cousins, he couldn't pretend with Sam, she just could see through him. _

"_I wish I could say something to make you feel better but…" Sam said but he cut her off, "you're here and that means a lot to me" he smiled gently as he felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around to meet his sister, wearing a black dress. Her makeup had __slightly slid down her face due to crying._

"_Calista, you're here" he hugged her, then turned his eyes to Sam, "Sam, this is my little sister Calista; Cal, this is Sam, my co-worker…my friend"_

"_Nice to meet you" Calista shook hands with Sam, who replied, "You too, I wish it was on better circumstances"_

"_Yeah, me too…" she said, then frowned. "Where are Dad and Mum?" she asked Martin, who sighed. _

"_Mum has a meeting to attend and Dad is…"_

"_They won't come, will they?" Calista cut Martin off. He shook his head, his jaw clenched._

"_It's Bonnie's funeral, Dad's sister! I can't believe it!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air._

"_I know Cal," Martin sighed, "I know…"_

Sam smiled gently. "Hi, Calista…I don't know if you remember me" she said.

"Oh yes I do, you're Samantha, right?" she replied as Samantha nodded, "It's been a long time, glad to see you" 

"You too," Sam told her, "So, you're here to see Martin?" 

"Yes, I've just seen him in the hall…" her face went pale, "I…ehm…I have to go, have a nice day" she smiled faintly at Samantha and then walked away quickly. Samantha raised an eyebrow, puzzled by her behavior, "thanks, you too". What had she said to make her run away?

* * *

Danny went down to the parking lot and saw Martin, a few steps ahead of him, striding towards his car. He quickened his pace to catch him up but Martin didn't even look at him. "I don't want to talk about it…" he told him gruffly as Danny sighed heavily.

"What's your problem?" Martin stopped.

"No, what's YOUR fucking problem, Martin?" Danny raised his voice, "Look at you, you're too busy kissing your father's ass to realize you treat people like shit! Come on, it was your sister!"

"Shut up Danny, you know nothing about Calista, she's trouble ok? Stay out of it, all right?" Martin started yelling, "Besides, you have no right to judge me, I'm not the one who ignored his brother for almost ten years!"

Danny laughed, "Is that the way you wanna play? With personal attacks? I got one or two for you, about your girlfriend, for example" Danny had just finished his sentence when Martin slammed him against a car, "What about my girlfriend?" 

"She's a cold, heartless and merciless social climber and from the few times I had the displeasure to meet her, I can tell she doesn't give a damn about anyone." Danny pushed Martin away, "You know what? I was wondering what you could find in her, but now I realize you two make a wonderful item, the bitch and the bastard!" 

That was too much for Martin. He punched Danny in the left cheek, making him stumble back, "Take it back" he yelled as Danny spit some blood on the ground.

"Try a little more and you'll be just like your father" Danny said, rubbing his swollen cheek.

"At least my father is not an alcoholic who hits his kids!" Martin replied spitefully. The both men kept staring into each other's eyes, ready to fight, when eventually Danny looked away, shaking his head. "Screw you Martin" he simply said to the man in front of him, the man who used to be his best friend. His words had hurt him much more than his punch. Martin raked a hand through his hair, stepped towards his car and got into it, not looking at Danny, who took place next to him a few seconds later. A deathly silence hung in the car during all the way and even during the boyfriend interview, they both avoided to look at each other.

* * *

Sam was nervous. She had decided to tell Jack about her pregnancy and she kind of feared his reaction. Jack had always been jealous of the men she dated after him, especially of Martin, and she didn't know how he was going to react when he would hear that she was pregnant from a man met in a bar. Besides she was afraid that he would force her to stay at the office, doing boring paperwork. She was only three-months pregnant and she was perfectly able to go to the field. When she heard Vivian exclaim "God, Danny what happened to you?", she lifted up her eyes and saw a big bruise on Danny's face.

"It's stupid, I've knocked against a door" he tried to be convincing, realizing he was using the same excuses as the ones he used when he was a child. Jack looked at him, then at Martin, who was unusually quiet, and he knew that something had happened between the both of them. He said noting though, knowing it wasn't the appropriate time and place to sort things out. 

"So, the boyfriend?" Jack asked, not taking his eyes off the two agents.

"He's clean, his alibi is solid and his tears were real…" Martin eventually spoke, "but he told us that he has noticed changes in her behavior lately"

"What kind of changes?" Sam asked.

"Irritability, anxiety, trembling, sweating…she also has difficulty paying her bills though she has a good job and salary" Danny answered as Vivian gave him a knowing look. "Drugs?" she asked.

"Looks like indeed…" Danny replied.

"Hey guys, check this out!" Sam snapped her fingers. They all gathered around her desk to see the face of a young Hispanic man appear on the computer screen. "One of Holly's neighbors got a record, listen to this: Roger Morales, 28, arrested four times for drug possession and trafficking. Holly didn't need to go far to get high…"

"Martin, Sam, what if you paid a visit to Mr. Morales, find out what he's hiding…" Jack said as they nodded, grabbing their coats. Danny gently took Sam's arm, "you want me to go?" he asked, gazing at her.

"Why?"

"You know why" he whispered. It's not that he particularly felt like being alone with Martin again but he wanted to protect her and her baby from dangerous situations.

"I can make it Danny, I'm pregnant but I'm still a trained FBI agent" she replied on the same low tone. She was glad to have someone like Danny to take care of her but sometimes he tended to be overprotective towards her. "I'll be fine"

Danny sighed, giving up, and watched her go away, knowing he should have insisted. "Danny, in my office now" he heard his boss say. Thirty seconds later, he was standing in front of Jack, who was reading some file at his desk.

"Does it hurt?" Jack asked, not looking at him.

"What?"

"The nice black eye you got"

"I'm ok"

"Are you gonna tell me how it really happened or am I supposed to guess?"

"…"

"Look Danny, I don't know what's the matter between you and Martin but somehow, you two have to sort things out fast and out of the office, you got me?" he finally lifted up his eyes and gave him a very Jack Malone look. As Danny opened his mouth to protest, Jack cut him off, "You-got-me?" he repeated sternly.

"Yes" Danny clenched his jaw, which made him wince in pain.

* * *

A few minutes later, in the car…

Sam turned his head to his former lover, who was focused on the road. "I've seen your sister today" she said and saw him roll his eyes. "Oh not again, please" he replied, exasperated, "I don't want to talk about her, why don't you guys understand it?"

"Alright, so we could talk about how you punched Danny, and don't even try to deny it!" Sam kept staring at him.

"I don't deny it, I punched him and I would do it again if he keeps talking to me the way he does" Martin replied in a cold, calm tone, "but it's none of your business, so stay out of it!"

Samantha shook her head, she couldn't believe she had been in love with that guy. "You may talk shit to people, that's one thing, but punch Danny, your best friend? God, you must be out of your mind!" she raised her voice.

"Danny, the so perfect Danny…" Martin laughed sarcastically, "He should clean up his own back yard before criticizing others"

Sam started seething with anger. She couldn't stand hearing him speak ill of Danny, especially after the three months he had spent taking care of her. "I hope you're happy with your new life and your new acquaintances because you will end up losing all your friends!" she told him but he didn't bother answering. 

Twenty minutes later, they had reached Holly Miller and Roger Morales' building. Walking up two floors, they found Roger Morales' apartment. A skinny Hispanic man opened the door and frowned.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Mr. Morales, I'm Special Agent Fitzgerald and this Special Agent Spade." Martin replied, "We're with the FBI and we're investigating Holly Miller's disappearance. We'd like to ask you some questions."

Roger Morales raked a hand through his hair, looking nervous. "Okay…Come in" he stepped back against the wall to let them in. Martin's eyes swept around the tiny and messy apartment and he noticed quickly a big travelling bag put on the ground.

"You're going somewhere?" he asked turning around. Things happened then very fast. Roger Morales took a pistol out of his pocket, grabbed Sam from behind and put the gun against her head. "Let me go or she's dead"


	8. At Roger Morales' apartment

_I know I've been long, I'm sorry...I haven't had much time lately..._

**Chapter 8**

« _Words like violence, break the silence, come crashing in, into my little world, painful to me, pierce right through me, can't you understand, oh my little girl_ …» Calista Fitzgerald started singing along with Dave Gahan, as she was driving faster and faster. As she slalomed between the cars, meanwhile getting some angry horns from the other drivers, she felt excitement grow inside her stomach. She still could hear the words Martin had told her two hours beforehand. She deserved his anger, but she never would've thought he could hate her so much. Clenching her jaw, she pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor until the speed managed to empty her mind. Adrenalin was her drug, her own way to forget her problems and her pain.

When she heard sirens behind her, she lifted her big blue eyes to the rear-view mirror. « Somebody's gonna get in trouble » she sighed, « again». She slowed down and pulled over on the shoulder of the road. As a police officer walked towards her car, she cut off the music and opened the window.

« Let me guess, too fast? » she grimaced. First time she had broken the speed limit - she must've been 16 - her father had intervened and for once in her life, she had told herself there were some advantages to be the daughter of the Deputy Director of the FBI. But today, she was on her own; he wouldn't help her this time. She wasn't her daughter anymore.

* * *

Martin drew his gun and pointed it at Roger Morales, his heart pounding. Hostage situations were always tricky and even more when the hostage was a co-worker and a friend.

"Roger," Martin used his first name as he had been taught to do, and spoke very calmly, "drop the gun, you have nowhere to go"

"I d-didn't mean to kill her…. She-she came for her fix but she didn't have the money…and-and as I didn't want to give her the drug, she got angry…and, and…and we fought. She fell and knocked her head…" Roger Morales stammered, seeming very agitated.

"Where is she now?" Martin asked.

"In my bedroom… it-it was an accident, I swear."

"I know, but right now, you're only making things worse. You don't wanna do that, Roger, there is another way." Martin kept his voice steady, even if he was scared inside. Frowning, he stared at Sam, who seemed completely paralyzed by fear. She had already been held hostage before and Martin assumed she was reliving the same situation in her head. What he doesn't know was that Sam didn't only fear for her own life but also for the other life growing inside her.

"Sam," his tone was reassuring, "Look at me, everything's gonna be alright…". He locked his blue eyes to hers and for a moment, Sam found again the Martin she had come to know, trust and love. The man who had always made her feel safe, no matter what.

"Let me go or…or I kill her, I swear, I will. I have nothing to lose," Roger Morales started yelling, his shaking hands hardly managing to hold the gun.

"You don't want to kill her, you're not a murderer" Martin kept speaking slowly and calmly.

« How do you know, huh? Maybe it's my nature » he answered, taking a threatening tone and pushing the barrel a bit harder against Sam's temple. She closed her eyes and let out a hushed cry.

"Roger, look at her" Martin said, "**LOOK AT HER!!**" he yelled, "Her name is Samantha, she's a good friend of mine and no way I'm gonna let you hurt her. She means a lot to me and to a lot of people. She's smart, beautiful, honest, generous and she's an amazing friend." He knew that if Sam was no longer just an anonymous person to Roger, he would hesitate before doing her harm.

"Shut up, I don't want to know that…"

"Com' on, don't ya wanna know the person you intend to kill? Don't ya wanna know that she hates the cold but she could stare at snow for hours? That her favorite fruits are blueberries? That when she laughs, the world could collapse and you wouldn't even notice it?" Martin's tone was desperate now, his heart jumping in his chest and cold sweat running down his spine.

Roger Morales looked at Sam, and shook his head, "I don't know what to do…I don't know what to do" he said more to himself than to the two agents.

"Do the right thing…Roger…Let her go" Martin whispered. "Drop your gun and step back, it's over now, we know what happened…It's over. You don't have to run away anymore, don't make the things worse, man, just let her go…" Martin's voice was soft but stern.

Roger pulled his gun away from Sam's temple and looked at Martin, "I…I put it on the floor?"

"Yeah, nice 'n easy…that's it…," Martin answered as Roger carried out, "now, step away from the gun and cross your hands behind your head."

Roger made two steps behind, crossed his hands behind his head as Sam took the gun into her shaking hands. "Sam, you a'right?" Martin squinted at her co-worker, then handcuffed Roger Morales. Sam let out a deep breath, "Yeah, we're fine, I mean, I'm fine…". She smiled faintly but the very next second, she bent over in pain, clutching her stomach.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Martin asked frantically. She lifted her eyes up, "Martin…Bring me to the hospital!"

* * *

"Do you wanna hear the last hare-brained idea of my son?" Vivian asked Danny, rolling her chair over to Danny's desk.

"Sure! Shoot" Danny grinned.

"He wants to get his ear pierced, can you believe it?" Vivian rolled her eyes as Danny started laughing, then said, "I wore an earring…when I was young and wild"

"Really?" Vivian raised an eyebrow, laughing, "you must've been cute!"

"I was living in the streets at the time, I wanted to, you know, look like a bad boy…"

"And did it work?"

"No, I just looked ridiculous" Danny laughed, then became serious again, "What did you tell Reggie?"

"I told my wayward son that if he had his ear pierced, I would…"she was cut off by her cell phone ring, "Excuse me" she told Danny and picked it up, "Agent Johnson? Hi Martin…What? Ok, calm down…oh, no…ok, we're on our way"

Viv hanged up the phone and threw Danny a worried look, "They found Holly Miller, she's dead…and…Sam was held hostage by her murderer"

"Is-is she hurt?" Danny's heart skipped a beat.

"She's at the hospital, that's all I know…"

* * *

A quarter later, Jack, Vivian and Danny arrived at the hospital to join a highly nervous Martin, whose tie was loose around his unbuttoned collar.

"Martin, what happened?" Jack asked out of worry.

Martin raked a hand through his hair, "Roger Morales had a gun…We came in the apartment and the next thing I knew, he had the gun pressed against Sam's temple. I managed to make him surrender and as I handcuffed him, Sam felt a sharp pain in the lower abdomen. I let NYPD took charge of Roger Morales and I brought Sam here. Been waiting for almost twenty now and I still not know how she is…"

"Did she lose the baby?" Danny closed his eyes during some brief seconds.

"What baby?" Vivian and Jack asked at the same time, as Martin stared at Danny, "You knew about the baby?"

"Yes, I've known for three months. Did she lose it, Martin?"


	9. Bad news

**Chapter 9**

Lying on her one-person bed, Calista Fitzgerald stared blankly at her cell phone, wondering if she was going to give the call or not. The beginning of the day had been awful for her: her brother had almost disowned her and an hour later, her driver's license had been taken away for one year. Now, she had to decide if she wanted this crappy day to get worse or just to pray for it to be over as soon as possible. She eventually chose the first option and started dialing her parents' number in New York as her hands got sweaty. After all these years, they still managed to make her nervous, to make her feel she was a little girl, an insignificant little girl. She hated to admit it but she was afraid of them.

"Residence Fitzgerald?" Calista couldn't help but roll her eyes when she heard the disturbing high-pitched voice of Paris, the housekeeper, "Hi, Paris…It's…ehm…Calista…"

"Calista?" Paris asked, surprised.

"Yeah, Calista," she repeated, already exasperated, "Are my parents home?"

"It's been a long time! I had almost forgotten you were part of this family. Thought you were gone forever…Why do you want to talk to them?"

Calista grimaced, "Paris, my dear Paris, with all due respect, it's none of your business. I wanna talk to my mother right now. Put her through, will you?" she said coldly as she clutched her cell phone a bit tighter.

"Your wish is my command" Paris replied with the same cold tone. A few seconds later, Abigail Edwards-Fitzgerald answered cheerfully, "Calista, darling…What a good surprise!"

"Oh please Mum, save the crap with me. You know like I know that we're not glad to speak to each other…" her daughter sighed, sitting down in her bed.

"Alright, what are doing here in New York? I thought we had a deal…"

"I missed Martin. Do you know how hard it was to live without him during these last three years? To live without a family? To – to live alone…" she felt a lump in her throat but she tried to keep her voice steady. The very last thing she wanted was her mother to know she was still able to make her cry.

"You chose it that way, darling » Abigail answered calmly as Calista clenched her jaw. She had always hated the way her mother call her 'darling' though she had so much difficulty telling her 'I love you'.

"No, I was forced to and you know it!" Calista snapped, irritated.

"Your father and I gave you the choice and you chose to leave. Don't hold us responsible for your mistakes…"

Calista closed her eyes and took a deep breath to try to calm down, « Why didn't you let me know that Marty had got shot, huh? I had told you to call me on my cell if something happened to him. That was part of our damn deal!»

"Calista, darling, watch your language! Martin successfully made it through surgery, so I didn't think it was worth calling and worrying you, that's all…"

"For God's sake, he was shot! His co-worker told me that he nearly died, that he went through a lot and you – you – you didn't think it was worth calling me??" Calista exclaimed, out of anger, "I should've been by his side, I should've been there to support him, to help him through this ordeal but you dared to keep me in the dark about it? Would you even have called me if he had died?"

"Calista, don't overreact please…yes, his situation was serious, yes, he nearly died but he survived and your father and I were there for him. He made it and he's fine now…"

"He didn't look fine when I talked to him this morning"

"You're not supposed to talk to him, you know it…it's the deal." Abigail Fitzgerald seemed worried now.

"Oh because we're following the rules now? Don't worry, I didn't tell him anything and I won't because he doesn't want to see me, because he hates me…Are you happy Mum? That's what you wanted, isn't it?" As her mother didn't answer, Calista carried on, "I don't know what I was expecting from this conversation anyway…Be you and Dad in peace, you won't hear from me anymore." She hung up and with shaking hands lit up a cigarette, the first one in a very long time.

* * *

Martin looked at Danny and shook his head, "I don't know, I have no news but when we arrived here, she...she was bleeding…a lot," he replied, crossing his hands behind his neck, "Geez, why is it taking so long?"

Danny rubbed his face. He had spent much time in hospitals when he was a kid and had always felt bad in there. He hated the smell – a sweet mixture of vomit, urine and ether -; he hated the ugly plastic chairs on which people with grey faces sit down; he hated the long dark corridors; he hated the forced smile of the nurses and the lingo of the doctors; he hated the monitors, the needles and all other medical stuff he couldn't name. Basically, he hated everything about them. But what he hated the most was to wait for any news about a loved one, knowing that no matter what, it won't be good. A year ago, he had been waiting for news about Vivian, then about Martin, and now it was Sam's turn.

"Are you the father?"

"What?" Danny asked, surprised, his hand still on his face.

"I asked you if you were the father of Sam's baby" Jack said, his tone tinged with jealousy. Viv and Martin turned their eyes towards Danny, waiting for him to answer.

"What the… of course not! I would never…I mean, not with Sam" Danny shook his head.

"Why, she's not good enough for you?" Martin retorted aggressively.

"I never said that but she's a sister to me, I would never sleep with her. What the hell is your problem?" Danny stared at Martin, his brown eyes becoming dark, almost black.

"I'm sure you have an idea about it…" Martin stared back at him, moving forward.

"That's enough!" Jack said sternly, realizing that the situation was about to degenerate very soon.

Instead of listening to Jack, Danny chose to ignore him and to provoke his partner and ex-best friend. "Maybe you could explain to us how the all thing happened? How could Sam be held hostage? Weren't you supposed to have her back covered?"

Martin stepped towards Danny, "You're saying it's my fault that she's here? Is that what you're saying?" He stepped a little closer and pushed him, "Fuck you!"

Danny sniggered, "What are you gonna do now, huh, Golden Boy? Punch me again?"

"I thought you had understood the first time…" Martin retaliated as Danny gave him a small headbutt, causing him to move back, "I'm gonna…"

"Stop it now!!" Vivian separated them, "what's the matter with you two? Samantha maybe lost her baby, she needs us more than ever and all you find to do is fighting like cats and dogs?" she said, very angry.

"He just…" Martin began but Vivian cut him off quickly, "Shut up! I don't want to know whose fault it is. All I want is you to control yourself otherwise you get out of here, you got me? That works for you too Danny! And don't make the mistake to think I'm not capable to kick your asses!"

Martin and Danny looked down and nodded silently like two children being told off. Inside them, they knew for a fact that Vivian was right and that they had to put their issues aside for the sake of 

Sam. Each of both leant back against an opposite wall taking care not to look at each other as Viv sat down next to Jack on one of those ugly plastic chairs Danny hated so much.

"I couldn't have done better myself…'And don't make the mistake to think I'm not capable to kick your asses?' " Jack said, imitating her.

"I am"

"I know you are and I'm sure it would do them so good. I don't know what's going on between those two but it's gonna have to stop soon…" Jack replied as his eyes lingered on Viv's shaking hands.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine…I mean..." she sighed as pain flashed through her eyes.

"I know Viv, I know" he gently squeezed her shoulder.

More than three quarters passed by before the team finally got some news about Sam's condition. Bad news.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Sardo, are you here for Samantha Spade?" a good-looking middle-aged woman asked them, a serious look on her face.

"Yes" Jack answered, standing up, "we're her co-workers…How-how is she?"

"We did all we could, but I'm sorry…she lost the baby" Dr. Sardo replied and waited for them deal with the first emotions before carrying on, "she had to undergo a D&C procedure to stop the bleeding and prevent infection. It perfectly succeeded and if no complications arise, she could be discharged from the hospital by tonight."

"Wait a sec" Danny cut her off, "I'm not a doctor, what is exactly a _D&C procedure_?"

"D&C procedure stands for dilation and curettage, it's a common procedure performed after a miscarriage. Dilation means to open up the cervix and curettage means to remove the contents of the uterus"

Danny swallowed hard, "oh God Sam…" he whispered.

"Was it painful?" Martin asked with a shaky voice. Danny took a squint at him and could read genuine worry and concern in his eyes. For once in months, Martin was showing some emotions and despite the situation, Danny was glad to notice that the old Martin was still there…somehow.

"Emotionally, yes, a lot." Dr. Sardo answered, "For the rest, she was given a small sedative during the procedure, so she barely felt something. You have to understand that miscarrying can be a very traumatic event for a woman. She will need support and time to heal…to accept. I brought you some brochures that might help you. Family and friends often feel powerless; they don't know what to say or not to say, so maybe you'll find some answers in them. Is there a way for me to get in touch with the father?"

Three pairs of eyes focused on Danny, who shook his head. "No. She…she only got us and we will be there to help her" he spoke on behalf of his co-workers. "Can we see her?"

"Ehm…Which one of you is Barry Taylor?" she frowned.

"You probably mean Danny Taylor?" Viv told her.

"Yes, right. Sorry, I'm not good with names."

"I am Danny Taylor," Danny said, "Why?"

"Right now, you're the only person she wants to talk to. You can see her but only a few minutes. She really needs to rest. It's room 206"

Danny thanked her silently and headed towards Sam's room, gently knocked at her door and came in. He was flabbergasted at how pale she looked, like all life had left her body. She was lying on the bed with her long blond hair scattered over the pillow and her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Hey Sam…" Danny said softly. She turned her head towards him and smiled faintly. "Hey" she whispered.

"How you feelin'?" he asked and immediately cursed himself. He wished he could have said something smarter, something better, something capable to fill the emptiness in her eyes and in her heart.

"I'm Ok…" she replied. Danny looked at her in surprise, he expected anything but that.

"The doctor said that the procedure perfectly succeeded and that I shouldn't experience complications. I'm just being given antibiotics to prevent infection…" she carried on, showing her IV.

"Sam, I'm glad that physically, you're ok but…"

"I know what you meant" she cut him off, tucking a tuft of hair behind her ear, "but I'm fine, don't worry". Danny frowned, noticing her tense body and the trembling of her voice. Clearly she was in shock and denial and Danny knew that no good could result from this situation. He couldn't blame her though, he knew it was sometimes easier to hide from the pain rather than deal with it.

"It's better that way, you know. Who was I fooling anyways? I wouldn't have been a good mother. I can't even take care of myself, how could have taken care of a child?"

"Sam…" Danny said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Besides, I've been pregnant for only three months, it's not like it was…real" her voice trailed off. Danny took her hand in his and gently squeezed it. "I'm so sorry Sam"

"Don't be, I told you I was fine…" she replied, almost aggressively.

"Honey, it's ok to be hurt"

He saw her struggle not to cry and squeezed her hand tighter. "I know I can't feel what you're feeling right now but you are not alone, we'll do everything we could and even more to help you through this honey."

"It was my fault Danny" Sam whispered, looking away. "I should've stayed in the office, I should've listened to you, I should've protected it but I failed…" she could no longer hold back her tears and started sobbing. Danny stroked her face and kissed her hand, "listen to me cariño, what happens to you is awful but you have no reason to blame yourself, you hear me?" he said softly.

"They- they just sucked it out of me and it was over, that can't be over…not like that" she said between two sobs, "they told me that the procedure was a success, that I'll be fine…No I won't" she cried as Danny felt a lump in his throat. He felt so powerless, so useless.

"It hurts so much Danny…it hurts so much…"

Danny couldn't prevent a tear from rolling down his cheek. He lent forward, kissed her forehead and let her cry, his hand still holding her cold one.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Eventually Sam managed to calm down and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "Oh boy, I should've worn waterproof makeup" she said, trying to ease the atmosphere.

"You're still beautiful Sam" Danny replied, a kind smile playing upon his face.

"Danny, you have to stop saying this kind of things or I'm gonna start crying again…" she said, even though she was grateful to him for his sweet words. Danny smiled at her while running the tip of his thumb over her hand. "I have to go sweetheart or I'm gonna have trouble with Dr. Sardo. She wants you to rest."

"She is nice…" Sam paused as Danny nodded in agreement, "Dan…I…don't wanna see Jack for the moment, I don't want to have to explain myself. It's too much for me; I know I will break down in front of him."

"Don't think about it, I'll tell him…He'll understand." Danny reassured her.

"And I don't wanna talk to Martin either. I don't know why because I need him so bad…" Sam closed her eyes during a brief moment to prevent the tears from falling. Despite the recent changes in his behavior lately, she still missed him, and how strong she felt in his arms.

"Sam, look at me…" Danny said holding her hand in both his hands," I don't want you to worry about it right now. They know what you're going through and I'm sure that the only thing they want is you to get better…that's what we all do"

"Do you really think I'm gonna get better because I've never felt so hollow in my all life…" Sam's voice broke.

Danny kept quiet for a few seconds, trying to find the right words to say. "Sweetheart, you lost your baby and I can't understand, I can't feel what you feel…I can only imagine and I know that I'd feel terrible in your situation. You lost someone you loved during three months, someone you wanted and it's gonna be hard to say goodbye. But I know you can do it, maybe not today, or tomorrow but someday the pain will be less intense and you'll feel better and it will be ok to feel that way. It won't mean that you forgot it because it'll always be in your heart. The last thing I want is you to mourn alone, you can rely on us, we'll be there for you."

Samantha looked at him and smiled faintly. "Danny, I want to thank you for…"

"Anytime, hun" Danny cut her off gently, "Now, try to rest, ok?"

"yeah…" Sam whispered.

Danny stood up, kissed his fingers and put them on Sam's forehead, "Take care" he said then headed towards the door. Sam turned her head and let a few more tears roll down her cheeks.

XXX

Meanwhile, Viv, Jack and Martin were waiting in silence in the waiting room. Martin looked all around him and his eyes fell on a big reproduction of one of Monet's paintings, _Impression Sunrise,_ hanging on the wall. His aunt Bonnie was an art lover and being a kid, when he and Calista spent their summer holidays at her house, she used to show them paintings of Monet, Cézanne or Van Gogh…Martin had always liked _Impression Sunrise_, but today, he found it sad, dark and depressing. So depressing that he had to look away. He massaged his neck, then reached out to take a brochure put on the table. He started to read:

_Helping a friend through miscarriage _

_Helping a friend through a miscarriage can bring up many questions, such as, "What do I say?" "What do I do?" Have you ever asked yourself these or similar questions? Comforting someone who is dealing with the death of a loved one is never easy, and it can be even more difficult when it is the death of a child through miscarriage. One reason this is so much more difficult is that friends and family have not actually seen and held this baby. When a woman has a miscarriage, she has lost a child - a child that she alone has held tenderly within her womb, a child she has loved and _

_anticipated rocking to sleep and cuddling in her arms, a child she may have talked to and sung to, and caressed by rubbing the bulge in her belly. No one fully understands your friend's grief, because each person grieves differently. _

_There seems to be a common thread through the stories of most women who have had a miscarriage, though. It is that, more than anything, they just need someone to be there to listen and to comfort them. Most women want to talk about what has happened to them, and be allowed to express their sadness and emptiness now that their baby has died. _

_Don't be afraid to talk about the baby, or the mother's loss. Do not turn away or change the subject if your friend wants to talk about these subjects, because that would show that you care more about your own comfort than her grief. Helping a friend through a miscarriage involves being a sounding board, listening to her grief, holding her hand, or offering a literal shoulder to cry on as needed. It's okay to tell her that you don't know what to say. You might tell her how sorry you feel that she lost her baby. Share the joy you experienced with her when she told you about her pregnancy. Most of all, let her know that you care. Even though most women want to talk, your friend may not be at that point, so don't "expect" her to say or do anything._

Martin stopped reading and raised his head when he heard Danny enter the waiting room. "How is she?" he asked even if he had to make an effort to speak to him.

"She's just lost her baby, how do think she's feeling?" Danny retorted aggressively, causing Martin to jump out of his chair in anger, "Don't make the mistake to think you care more about her than I do, than we all do"

"Will you stop this, for fuck's sake!" Jack couldn't help but shout. "I don't wanna hear you fight anymore! Danny…tell us, how is she?"

Danny shook his head, sighing. He hadn't wanted to be mean towards Martin but somehow he couldn't help it. "She'll recover physically but I've never seen her so desperate…It really broke my heart" he answered, "She's sleeping now or at least is trying…"

"I have to see her…" Martin said more to himself than for anybody else.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Martin" Danny replied.

"And why's that, Danny?" Martin asked, stressing his name.

"She doesn't want to see you now…" he replied on a softer tone than before. Martin stood speechless and Danny could see hurt and guilt flashing through his eyes.

"Look…don't take it personally ok? She doesn't want to talk to Jack either. I think that the person most likely to understand her right now is a woman" he said, looking for an excuse. He was true though, no man could really understand what was like to have a stillbirth, no matter how much he tried.

"Listen, I'm gonna stay here till she is discharged and then she'll come to my house for a while. You guys would rather go home, there's no use for you to stay here any longer." Vivian intervened, in her usual calm, warm voice. "I'm gonna take care of her, don't worry about it…"

The three men nodded silently. They knew that Viv's natural motherly sweetness was all Sam needed for the moment.

XXX

Martin opened the door of his apartment, feeling like nothing but slumping in his sofa and forgetting everything. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed that Sam was pregnant. Had he known, would it have changed anything to what had happened? Would Sam's baby be still alive? In his mind, he replayed the last seconds leading up to the moment Sam got a gun pressed against her temple, trying to remember what he had done wrong.

_Damn it, Martin, you should've been more careful…you treated him like any witness though you knew he had been busted four times…you noticed he was nervous…you turned your back on _

_him…you left him alone with Samantha…you left him alone with Sam…you left him alone with Sam.._

Martin closed the door and tipped his head back against it, closing his eyes. He could no longer control his panting breathing as the last events passed through his mind.

"Martin, you're still home?" his girlfriend's surprised voice brought him back to reality. Dressed in a red fancy dress, she was walking towards him, a large smile upon her face.

He sighed, "Yeah, something happened with…"

Martin didn't have the opportunity to finish his sentence. "How do I look like?" she asked, turning round.

"Awesome" he answered without conviction. Of course, she looked gorgeous but he was not really in the mood to talk about clothes, "But, why are you so dressed up?"

"The dinner, with your parents and mine, remember? That's why you're here, right? You had promised to come home early"

The dinner. It had totally slipped his mind and there were good reasons for it. Pinching his nose between his thumb and his forefinger, Martin sighed. He didn't feel up to spending an entire evening with his parents and the Rockfeller's, talking about the political advancement of so-and-so or the rise of pump prices. His mind was focused on what had happened and what he needed the most was someone to talk to.

"Martin, you ok?" Stacy Rockfeller asked, puzzled by his behavior.

He shook his head, "No, I'm not. That's what I was trying to tell you. We've had a hostage situation today and…"

"Oh my God, are you hurt?" she exclaimed, out of concern.

"No, no, I'm fine" he said, even if he wished he was the one being hurt rather than Sam, "but Samantha…"

"Your ex…"

"Yeah. She…ehm…lost her baby"

"You hadn't told me she was pregnant" Stacy said, tossing her black hair back.

"I didn't know" Martin replied, "I had no clue…" he added in a whisper.

"Well, that's sad…" Stacy said, absent-mindly. "I'm sorry for her." Actually, she wasn't. She didn't really care. She didn't know why, but she had always felt threatened by Samantha, even if Martin had told her many times that he was no longer in love with her.

"You don't look sorry" Martin stared at her.

Her eyes darkened. She opened the mouth to retaliate then remembered it wasn't a good time to argue. They had to put up a good show in front of their respective parents. "Look, I'm sorry, ok? I'm just a bit edgy because of the dinner. I always want to make a good impression with your parents but that doesn't mean I'm not sorry for her. I wouldn't like to be her now, she must be devastated. And I know you care about her…obviously… so I share your worry because I love you, you know that?" she kissed his lips.

"Yeah I know but I feel so bad. I was with her when she was held hostage and I could've prevented from happening…" he said, his voice trembling with guilt.

She gently grabbed her arm, "Hey, I'm sure you did nothing wrong. You're just feeling guilty because it's one of your co-workers" she didn't want to use the word 'friend', "It's a normal reaction, trust me…"

Martin kept quiet as she stepped forward. "Come here" she said, wrapping her arms around him. Martin didn't move as he let himself be hugged, unable to take his mind off Sam.

"Now, grab a shower and put your tux on. We're supposed to meet our parents at 7.30 and I don't wanna be late" she said, "You'll see, it will take your mind off things"

Martin nodded faintly and headed towards the bathroom. Closing his eyes, he let the hot water streaming down his body, unsuccessfully trying to empty his mind. The conversation he had had with Stacy hadn't helped him. He still felt so bad, even worse. He turned off the faucet, wrapped a towel around his waist and wiped the steam on the mirror, his pale reflection looking back at him with sad eyes. For a moment he was thinking of calling Danny – even fighting with him was better than being left with his gloomy thoughts – but he changed his mind. He had a diner to attend.

XXX

An hour later…

Nicole Sardo gathered her long auburn hair in a bun and secured it with a large, silver claw clip. She wanted to go home, take a long bubble bath and spend the rest of the evening with her husband and her two beloved children. She loved her job - she wouldn't have changed it for all the money in the world – but when a 10-year-old got shot while playing soccer in the street or when a young beautiful woman lost her child, she just couldn't accept it. She didn't want to. Sighing, she opened the door and came in.

Vivian was lost in her thoughts, painful memories swirling through her mind, when she heard Dr. Sardo enter the room. She reluctantly took her eyes off Sam's pale face and gently nodded a greeting to her.

"Hi, is she still asleep?" Dr. Sardo asked Viv.

"I think she's waking up" Vivian answered, seeing Sam's eyes flutter open. "Hey sweetie…" she said.

"Viv?" Samantha asked with a tired voice, "I'm glad you're here…"

"It's the only place I must be kiddo, I'm not gonna leave you alone" Viv squeezed Samantha's hand. Dr. Sardo stepped forward and looked at the blond agent with kind eyes.

"Hello Samantha, are you in pain?"

Sam grimaced, "yeah, a bit…"

"Don't worry, it's totally normal… You may experience some painful cramping initially, but this should not last longer than two days. I will prescribe you some painkillers and you'll feel better. I see that your IV is almost finished. When you're ready, you can go. Have you some family to stay with for the next couple of days?"

Before Sam had a chance to reply she was on her own, Viv spoke, "Yes she has"

Sam opened her mouth but Viv put a finger on her lips, "Don't argue honey, I've already phoned Marcus and he'd be glad to have you home. What's the point having a spare room if friends can't make use of it, huh?"

Sam mouthed a thank you, and then turned her eyes towards Dr. Sardo. "Do I have some particular precautions to take?"

"I want you to rest for the next 24 hours and you should not have sexual intercourse for at least two weeks. Light cramping and bleeding can be expected from a few days but if it continues beyond two weeks, you have to contact us. It also applies to increased pain, fever or dizziness. Anyway, you should come back for a check-up in a month. I know it's a lot to take in right now Samantha, but don't hesitate to ask for help. Here is a card of a support group, and obviously you have good friends to count on. Let them help you."

Sam looked at her white hand held by Viv's black one. She knew she wasn't alone.

XXX

Jack was sat in the dark in his now too spacious apartment in TriBeCa. His apartment who used to be clean, warm and full of children's giggles was now a cold, grey place lacking in soul…lacking in life. Actually, it was certainly now the best place to greet his actual thoughts. Not so long ago, he had a wife, two sweet beautiful daughters to resupply him with innocence he lost every day at work and the trust of his colleagues. Now, all of this was gone. Divorced, his little girls living in another state, he had also lost his touch with his young agents. Danny had been the first, Martin the next and now, Samantha, his Samantha. How come she hadn't dared to tell him she was pregnant? Had she feared his reaction? When did his agents stop talking to him?

Everything was falling apart, there was so much pain, so many things left unsaid in his team that he doubted the situation could get back to normal, to when times were better. When they all trusted each other, when Martin and Danny were still friends, when he still lived with his family, and when Samantha was still one of those lucky women who hadn't lost a baby.

He took his cell phone, pressed the buttons slowly and waited. He sighed when he heard the voice mail but didn't hang up though. He waited for the tone and then spoke with a shaky voice:

"_Hi Anne, it's…ehm…Jack. I know it's been a long time and I don't want to bother you or anything…I just wanna know how you're doin'…If you have time, I'd like to take a coffee with you and chat a little…catching up…you know…Well, I hope you're ok … please call me back…"_

Yet, he knew she wouldn't.

XXX

"Oh my God, Charles, you're too funny!" Abigail Fitzgerald burst out laughing as Martin clutched his fork, irritated. His mother's laughs reminded him of the prerecorded ones heard in the background of sitcoms: loud, calculated…fake. He cracked his neck, trying to concentrate on the too expensive plate put in front of him, aware that he wouldn't be able to eat anything.

"Martin" her mother turned her head to him, "Guess who I came across that morning?"

"Surprise me" Martin replied sarcastically.

"Nathan Bellick, do you remember him? The son of…"

"I remember him" Martin cut her off sharply. _The most boring guy I've ever met_, he thought.

"Believe it or not, but he runs his own company. And he's only 31! I told him you would give him a call someday."

"Oh please Mum!" Martin exclaimed rolling his eyes, "I'm old enough to choose my own friends!"

"I know Darling, I know…it's not that I don't like your friends, but Victor told me some things about one of your co-worker, agent Taylor, I can't remember his first name…"

"Danny" Martin said softly. He couldn't believe that her mother didn't remember his name, after what he and Danny had been through.

"Yes, that's it."

"Don't worry, we don't get along anymore" Martin tried to eat but his stomach was in knots and knowing that each mouthful cost more than 10 made him even sicker.

"How come?" she asked surprised and glad in the same time.

Martin opened his mouth. Actually, he couldn't remember when or why they had fallen out. "It doesn't matter" he replied, avoiding her eyes.

"You know, it's better that way…I've heard about his hot-temperament and his troubled past and when he gets into trouble, I don't want him to pull you down with him."

"Hey!" Martin almost shouted, "Be careful what you say Mum, Danny is the person who helped me the most when…" he paused - was he defending him? - "You shouldn't judge him before knowing him, that's all…"

"Are you Ok Martin? You seem a little…off"

"It's quite normal considering the circumstances…" Stacy said, causing Martin to look daggers at her.

"What circumstances? What are you talking about?" Victor asked her.

"There's been a hostage situation today" Martin said, staring blankly at his plate.

"Jesus! Martin are you hurt?" Abigail exclaimed as Martin sighed, "Do I look hurt, Mum?"

"Were you alone?" Victor asked, his tone was calmer than his wife's.

Martin felt a lump in his throat, "No, I was with Sam…"

"Agent Spade? Is she ok?" Victor asked, taking a sip of wine.

"No, she lost her baby!" Martin said but regretted it right away. Even if his father was going to discover the truth in the end – nothing stayed secret in the Bureau – it was Sam's private life and he had no right to talk about it. He couldn't help it though; the need to let it out had been too strong.

"Samantha Spade, isn't she Martin's ex-girlfriend?" Lucie Rockfeller asked her daughter, whispering.

"Yes, she is" Stacy whispered back.

"Did you know she wanted to get pregnant?"

"No, I think it was an accidental baby…a mistake." Stacy replied.

Lucie Rockefeller raised her eyebrows disdainfully, "oh, I see…"

"The poor girl…" Abigail said softly, "But she's young, she'll get over it. Give my best wishes of recovery to her, will you darling?"

_If only she wanted to see me…_, Martin thought, swallowing his pain and frustration, "I will"

"Now, let's change the subject" Eva went on, she didn't want to talk about Sam all dinner long, "I need to talk to you about your sister."

"_Someone please finish me off!"_ Martin shouted inside his head. Rubbing his forehead with his fingertips, he tried to stay calm, "What about my si…, what about Calista?"

"You've seen her today"

"I have." Martin's eyes went dark, "I didn't even know she was in New York."

"Neither did I, I knew it when she called me this afternoon. What did you two talk about?" Abigail asked, trying to sound casual.

Martin clenched his jaw; he didn't want to air the family's dirty laundry in front of the Rockefeller's, who, even if they pretended not to, were listening carefully. "She wanted to make up with me but I told her to get lost. She left, she abandoned me when I needed her the most and I'm not gonna forgive her" Martin said with anger in his voice.

"Well, you know how selfish Calista can be…When I told her you had been shot, she promised me she would come but one more time, we couldn't count on her. So, you won't see her again…right?" Abigail asked.

"No…" Martin whispered, sadness now perceptible in his voice, as his mother let out a satisfying sigh. That's all she needed to hear. Nevertheless, even to his surprise, if Martin had been asked to choose between spending the evening with his parents, Stacy and the Rockfellers or with Calista – even if it entailed fighting with her till daylight – he would've chosen to spend it with his sister.

XXX

Danny sat down at the wooden bar counter and after a long hesitation, ordered a club soda. There were days like these when the urge of drinking was stronger and the last thing to do was to stay alone in a dark, smoky bar. He knew it. He swung the glass in his hand, and sighed heavily, the images of Sam crying and suffering still vivid in his mind and giving him no rest. He was the one who knew about the baby, the one who could protect her but he had failed. He should've convinced her harder to stay at the office but he had let her go…and it had happened. He should've found the words to make her pain away, but he hadn't. He should've…

"You look so serious…" a woman said, snapping him out of his thoughts. Turning his head on his left, he saw the gorgeous woman he had seen some hours earlier. She had changed clothes, now wearing a black figure-hugging dress, and her makeup made the deep blue of her eyes stand out. If she had been someone else and if it was a normal day, she would've been the first woman he would've flirted with.

"Hello, you're Calista, right?" he said, staring at her, "I'm Danny"

"Hi, we've already met, remember?" she gently smiled.

"Yeah, I know but we haven't been introduced properly, I'm…" Danny replied but Calista cut him off, "I know who you are. Danny Taylor, 32, Special Agent of the FBI, been working there for seven years, a brother – Rafael-, two nephews …"

Danny raised an eyebrow in astonishment causing Calista to laugh. "How do you…?" he asked.

"Martin" she explained, "You became his main topic of conversation when he first started at the FBI. He told me a lot about you and how you gave him a bad time. You went from 'arrogant little bastard' to 'crazy hothead', without forgetting – of course -, the 'insensible jerk'…But one day, you were promoted to 'friend' and Martin changed. I had never seen my brother being so…good. He really cares about your friendship."

Danny smiled sadly, a taste of regret in the back of his throat, but said nothing. Frowning, Calista examined his face: his clenched jaw, his drawn features and the way he played with his glass said it all.

"Bad day, huh?"

Staring into space, he nodded. He felt her eyes on him and without knowing why, he felt like talking to her, confiding to her, like to an old friend. Danny wasn't the kind of man who trusted people easily; actually he could count the people he really trusted on the fingers of his hand but there was something in Calista who made him feel better, safe…Somehow, he felt connected to her. Still looking at some invisible point in front of him, he spoke, "One of my friends is going through something really bad and, and, and I know I could have done to prevent that, if only I…"

"Hey" she said softly, "You could change the world with if's but in real life, all you can do is doing your best. You feel sorry for your friend, and it's completely understandable but are you really sure that your actions could've prevented them from being hurt?"

Danny looked at her. He should've convinced Sam harder but in the end, it had been her call; he should've told Jack about her pregnancy but she was only three-months pregnant, she was fine and it was her life, it was up to her to tell him. What happened had been caused by the scared reaction of a junkie…. He shook his head, "Maybe…I don't know…It's just killing me to know she's hurt."



Calista looked at him sympathetically as he kept talking, "Everything is so wrong, you know…I feel like I can't control anything, my friends are getting hurt and I can't do nothing about it, I mean…If I was a better friend, a better agent or, or, or a better man…I could've prevented the people I love from suffering…" he said, thinking about Sam lying in her hospital bed, Martin almost dying in his arms and the face of Caitlyn when he had broken her heart.

"That's depressing…I don't know you Danny but I know one thing, you're not damn Superman, his tights wouldn't fit you anyway" she said as he smiled faintly, "If you want to feel sorry for yourself, that's ok, we can have a self-pity session together but you'll need a real drink for that…"

"I don't drink" Danny replied…automatically.

"Never?"

"Never."

"The only things I get from my parents are lots of hair and the love of red wine" she said, mentioning her glass.

Danny looked at the beautiful, shining curls falling upon her shoulders and couldn't help smiling, "I love the hair" he said, "and well, actually, I used to love wine as well. The problem is that I loved it too much…"

"Oh…ehm…does it bother you if I drink alcohol?" she asked, concerned.

"No, that's nice of you to ask but I'm ok…I mean…I haven't had a drink for nine years, I can handle it."

He couldn't believe he had talked about his alcoholism so easily. He expected to see pity or disgust flashing through Calista's eyes but all he saw was kindness and respect.

"You know, I'm a troubleholic" she said simply. Danny laughed, "Nice word"

"Oh it does exist" Calista replied seriously, "look up in the dictionary and you will see. _Troubleholism: syndrome of Calista Fitzgerald_. _Stay away from her, she's_ _bad news_"

"You're exaggerating"

"Of course I am, it's part of the game, right?…wallowing in self-pity…" she smiled, maliciously.

"Alright…"Danny said, thinking, "I begin: I can't keep a serious relationship…"

"I don't even try to be in one…" Calista replied, staring at him. "My turn, I have a juvenile record…sealed of course, my father is good for something."

"I have one as well…I lost both my parents and the only family I've left is in jail" Danny said, a shadow coming across his face.

"My whole family hates me" Calista told him, and judging by the tone of her voice, the game began to become serious.

"Calista..ehm…I'm sure they don't ha…" Danny tried to comfort her but she cut him off, "Believe me they do…It's your turn."

Danny kept quiet during a few seconds, then spoke, slowly…painfully. "I lost my best friend and I don't know how to make things right."

"Marty?" she asked.

"Yeah…He changed so much since the shooting…I mean, I thought we had got over it, well, we haven't really talked about it and maybe we, no, we should've talked about it but now, it's just impossible. He wouldn't listen to me. I don't recognize him anymore. He became cold…"

"He became a Fitzgerald…There's nothing surprising about it…"

"I just can't talk to him, you know? We're always fighting and he told me things that I can't forgive and that I can't forget…But I don't wanna hate him either." Danny said, taking a sip of his soda.

"You know, he's great. I've always looked up to him and I love him so much. If he became like this, it's because of my parents and because of me…" Calista replied, looking down.

"What happened between you two?" Danny asked.

"Let's just say I made a deal with the Devil" Calista answered. Danny knew she wouldn't say more. The game was over.

XXX

Daylight piercing through the curtains, Danny woke up. Slowly opening his eyes, he looked at his grey alarm clock when he heard someone breathe next to him. Turning his head, he saw her, sleeping peacefully, her long hair spreading all over the pillow. Danny delicately lifted up the sheets and looked underneath. There was no doubt about what had happened during the night. He put his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes, remembering what had happened.

_They had talked till late in that bar and the next thing he knew he was in his apartment, kissing her and wanting more. He remembered her hot breath against his lips, her perfume filling his head, his cracked voice turning him on. He remembered the rustling of her dress when it felt to the floor, his heart pounding in his chest when she pressed her beautiful naked body against him and the softness of her skin when he brushed against it. He remembered her cheeks turning pink when he teased her with his caresses, her eyes burning with desire and her tensed body craving for more, always more. But what he remembered the most was that wonderful feeling of oblivion he felt when they both melt in each other, passion being almost intolerable._

The night was over now and he realized what he had done. It was Martin's sister, the daughter of the Deputy Director of the FBI, and above all, a woman he didn't want to hurt. He heard her move and looked at her.

"Mmmh" Calista moaned, waking up, " 'Morning"


	11. In the morning

_Well, the "I believe I can fly" thing is a private joke with my best friend but it matched with the timeline. Anyway, I hope you'll like this new chapter and thanks a lot to the ones who left me such nice reviews and encourage all this story long_

**Chapter 11**

Danny rolled over and rested his head on his folded arm. "Hey there", he replied gently looking deeply into Calista's sleepy eyes, "How did you sleep?"

"Mmmh, like a baby…Actually, I haven't slept like that in ages…" Calista said, stretching out. Danny smiled at her and they both shared an awkward look. Finally looking away, Martin's sister raked a hand through her hair, "Can I use your shower?" she asked.

"Oh…yeah…sure…the bathroom is on your left" Danny replied, watching her wrap a sheet around her waist and get up, picking up her clothes that were lying on the floor. He sat down on the edge of the bed and crossed his hand behind his head.

"Danny, what have you done?" he talked to himself. It was a mistake, a huge but so beautiful mistake…He couldn't deny it: he didn't regret a single minute spent with her or the way she made him feel. For a night, with their bodies entangled and his head buried in her warm neck, he had forgotten about his past, about his mistakes, about Rafie rotting in prison, about the shooting, about Martin…he had forgotten everything. Calista was a runaway and within a few hours, she had taken him with her. Now, it was time to stop running and face the reality. He couldn't start a relationship now, not without apologizing to Caitlyn first, not without sorting things out with Martin and Jack, not with Calista.

He got up, put his boxers and a t-shirt on and headed towards the kitchen, making the lousy coffee of which he alone had the secret. A few minutes later, he saw Calista entering the kitchen barefoot.

She sat down on the stool and zipped her boots up, fidgeting. "This dress is so uncomfortable, I don't know what I was thinking when I put it on yesterday."

Danny looked her up and down and grinned. The dress hugged the beautiful curves of her body perfectly. He had noticed it, so did many men in the bar that night.

She narrowed her eyes. "I wasn't thinking of that Danny…"

Yes, she had wanted to feel pretty, beautiful, to feel eyes on her and yes, she had enjoyed seeing heads turn towards her while entering the bar. After the conversation with her mother, all she had wanted was to get noticed, to see she existed through someone's else's eyes. But honestly, she hadn't imagined that night could've finished that way. She was tired of all the meaningless sex-based relationships she collected since she was 15 but when she had seen Danny, smelled his cologne, looked into his eyes, she hadn't been capable to resist the need to be touched, to be kissed, to be wanted…to be loved even if it lasted only a few hours.

"Want some coffee?" Danny asked.

"Yes, please."

That was the hard part for Danny. The dumping part. He had known three types of dumped women. The first ones were ok; almost relieved because, like Danny, they didn't expect anything from the night they had spent together. The second ones made a scene and ended up calling him names. The last ones said nothing but couldn't help hurt and disappointment from flashing through their eyes. That was towards them that Danny felt the worst.

"Look Calista…", he began, words not coming so easily. "What happened last night…"

"You're not good at doing that"

"Doing what?"

"Ditching chicks you've just slept with. Let me guess, you're the type of guy who sneaks out in the middle of the night…"

Danny frowned, he didn't want to hurt her…Actually, he liked her, liked her a lot. To his surprise, she burst out laughing,

"You look terrible! Danny, I don't expect you to marry me…We're grown-ups, we both had a bad day, we needed some consolation, we spent the night together. Period. End of the story. It was 

great," she paused, her cheeks turning pink, "but it was a mistake. I'm your friend's sister, your big boss's daughter and my life's a real mess. I can barely take care of myself, I couldn't build anything right now."

Danny looked at her and pretended to be upset, "Are you dumping me?"

"Yes I am and your coffee is disgusting."

She smiled as Danny laughed, "Yes, I know…Sorry for that…"

"I like you" he couldn't help but tell her.

Calista looked down, "You don't know me."

There was something sad in her voice that made him feel like stroking her cheek. He didn't do it though but merely looked at her with sweet eyes. "What happened between you and Martin? I can't believe he has such an amazing sister and has never told me about it…"

Calista took a sip of coffee and grimaced, "I assume he was ashamed of me. I've told you, I'm trouble…I stole a car, I drove under influence, I vandalized several houses with my friends, I got fired from two high schools, I got fired from college later…well, you see, that kind of little thing. I was a bad girl," she emphasized the word 'bad'. "I can't blame Martin, he's a Fitzgerald, and he has a reputation and a name to defend…"

Danny thought about Raffie. Had he disowned him because he was ashamed of him? Because his brother's past could stain the perfect image of Danny Taylor, Special Agent of the FBI, he had tried to build during all these years?

"But I knew he loved me…" she carried on, "until I left."

"Why did you leave?"

Calista opened her mouth but said nothing. She shook her head, "You know, my messy life is not supposed to be an after-lovemaking topic of conversation…" she joked, trying to change the subject.

"Why did you leave?" Danny asked again, softly, carefully.

"There is something you have to know about my parents: they always win…always, one way or another," she paused, "I don't wanna talk about it…" Her eyes went dark, almost black.

"Alright…" Danny replied gently.

"Can I ask you somethin'?" she said, putting her hair in a high ponytail.

"Sure."

"Can I…ehm…give you a call once in a while? I'd like to know if Martin is ok…I can't ask my parents, I don't trust them…they hadn't even told me that Martin had been shot…I know you don't really get along with him anymore but I just wanna know how he's doing…he's a great guy, you know...I just wanna know how he's doing…"

Danny seemed to think for a minute, then headed towards the sideboard, took a sheet of paper and wrote his number. He gave it to Calista, "you call me anytime. I'd like to know how YOU doing…"

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine"

"Will you?"

"I came back for my brother. As long as I know he's ok, I'll be fine. You know Danny, whatever happened between you two, he's still a good man, I know he is. He's just fundamentally good. He'd give everything for the people he loves. I remember…"

_Calista was playing absent-mindly with the golden necklace she had received for her 16__th__ birthday. It was a gift from her parents, a very expensive gift used as compensation for not being there for their daughter's birthday. The necklace was large, bright and flashy and Calista told herself one more time that her mother definitively didn't know her or her tastes. "Even Cleopatra would be ashamed to wear such a thing," she laughed, disappointed and bitter, and threw the jewel on her bed._

_It wasn't the first time she spent her birthday without her parents, but that time, it was different. Martin wasn't there. He was in college in Seattle, studying for his exams. He had given her a call but she needed more, she wanted her big brother to be there, she wanted him to make her laugh, to make her forget she had be let down by her parents…once again. She turned on the radio, let herself fall on her bed, her arms wide open and started singing the latest hit song at the top of her lungs:_

See I was on the verge of breaking down  
Sometimes silence can seem so loud  
There are miracles in life I must achieve  
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it  
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night and day  
Spread my wings and fly away  
I believe I can soar  
I see me running through that open door  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly

_Calista heard someone banging at her door and got up to open it. She grimaced when she saw Paris's face. She assumed she was there to ask her to turn down the volume, as she had done so many times before but she was wrong. _

"_Someone left this for you" she said, giving the teen a large box._

_Calista looked at the housekeeper and for a brief moment, she saw a smile playing over her lips. 'Birthday's miracle'?, she asked herself._

"_Thanks Paris…"_

"_Could you turn down the volume? I'm going crazy" Paris added._

_She wasn't completely wrong after all. Calista sighed and came back to her bedroom, puzzled. There was a letter on the box and she hastened to rip the envelope open. Inside she found a small note and recognized right away his brother's handwriting._

Hey sis,

Let me guess, you're in PJ's, you hair is a mess and you're locked in your room singing a soppy song.

_Calista stopped reading and looked around as if somebody was watching her. After making sure his brother wasn't hidden somewhere, she went on reading._

Not too bad huh? I know your birthday sucks, your life sucks and the whole world sucks…I was 16 before you, remember?…I also know you're mad at Mum and Dad and I understand, believe me I do, but I don't want you to sulk in your room. Get up, grab a shower and put on the dress in the box. Be ready at 7 and don't be late!

Martin.

Ps: I saw the awful necklace Mum bought you. Don't feel obliged to wear it.

_The young Calista grinned and took the dress out of the box._

"At 7 o'clock, he came to pick me up in a limo and we spent the evening together in a restaurant." Calista finished her story, "He was in the middle of his exams and had to take a flight back to Seattle early in the morning but despite it, he had come back in New York just to spend my birthday with me. He had planned everything and it was the most beautiful birthday I've ever had…"

Danny smiled sadly. He missed Martin, more than he thought, more than he could admit.

"I can't promise you I will make up with him but…I'll watch over him. I won't let him get hurt…again" Danny swallowed hard.

"Thanks" Calista whispered and they both kept silent, thinking about Martin.

"Well, I think I'd better go before becoming too emotional" Calista said, breaking the silence. She walked to the living room, put on her long winter coat that was lying in the sofa and looked at Danny.

"Hum…It was…great…"she laughed awkwardly, "I'll give you a call"

Danny nodded, smiling and saw her stepping forward to give him a sweet kiss on his cheek. "Bye Danny"

"Take care" he cupped her face and watched her walk out of his apartment. Somehow, Calista Fitzgerald had entered his life.

XXX

A week had passed. Danny and Martin had developed a brand new routine, namely no greetings, no eye contact and almost no talking. If they needed to converse for work, they always tried to be as quick as possible and as curt as possible. The tension between them hadn't gone unnoticed by their co-workers – well, they could've seen it with half an eye – but Jack had decided to let them work their problems through alone. However, he couldn't let this situation drag on forever and he knew that if they didn't sort things out fast, he would have to take a tough call: asking one of both to leave.


	12. Prince

**Chapter 12**

Danny had finally managed to fall asleep. Her neighbor had just had a new daughter – Emily -; she was as cute as the first one but as loud as well. So loud that Danny had given serious thought about spending a couple of nights in a hotel just to make up for lost sleep. So, that night around 4, when the baby had stopped shrieking and crying, Danny had let out a satisfied sigh before slipping into the arms of Morpheus. He had been asleep for only half an hour when his cell phone started ringing. Not lifting his head from the pillow, he started groping around for his cell, and in the meantime knocked over his bedside lamp, that crashed down on the floor in a deafening sound.

"Son of a bitch!" Danny exclaimed before finding his cell. "Whoever it is, call back later…" he answered the phone, half asleep.

"Danny? It's Jack…"

"Jack? It's 4.30. What's going on?" Danny replied in a hushed tone, his head still buried in his pillow.

"We got a new case," Jack answered.

_Man! That can't be real…_Danny thought. Usually, he was one the firsts to arrive at work and one of the lasts to leave but tonight, he could've used some extra hours of sleep.

"Danny, do you hear me? We got a case, get up!" Jack said gently but sternly.

"I heard you Jack, I'm on my way" he replied, resignedly, "I'm on my way…"

XXX

"Hey Vivalina" Danny yawned, entering the bullpen.

Vivian smiled, she had always loved that nickname. Seeing the deep black circles under his young co-worker's eyes, she couldn't help worrying, "Hey Danny, you look like hell!"

"That's because I feel like hell…" Danny yawned again.

"Let me guess, baby Emily?"

"Who else? Her batteries never stop working. When you think that she's cried enough for the night and that she's gonna finally let you sleep, she starts screaming again even louder than before…" Danny threw his hands in the air dramatically.

A grin appeared on Vivian's lips and Danny pointed a finger at her, "and don't you dare laughing!" He smiled then became serious again, "How is Sam?". Every day, it was the first question he asked Vivian.

"I'm fine…Thanks" . Danny turned around at the sound of his blond colleague's voice. He stood speechless for a few seconds then stepped forward and hugged her awkwardly, "Sam, I'm so glad to see you but…but what are you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to rest?" he said, his hands still resting on her shoulders.

"I told you, I am fine" Sam replied, more sharply than she intended. "I'm Ok, really, I can work. I want to…work."

Danny looked at Vivian helplessly but she shook her head, making him understand that it was useless to try to convince her. She had tried many times before him.

"Alright but if you need anything or if you feel…" Danny began but she cut him off, "Danny, stop it please, I feel good. Stop worrying about me, will you?" she walked away from him and sat down at the conference table. Danny bit his bottom lip and kept watching her. She looked good – even healthy – but he knew it was just a façade…When he heard Martin coming his way, he lifted his chin in a haughty gesture and looked away.

"Morning Viv" Martin said. He had seen Danny but there was no way he was gonna greet him.

"Morning…" Vivian replied, a bit upset. She was sick and tired of the tension between the two men. Jack had asked her not to get involved but all she wanted was to yell at them, to shake them just to make them react and stop acting like kids. She loved them, like they were his sons and she hated seeing them be torn apart because of…actually, she didn't know why they had started fighting.

When Martin saw Samantha at the conference table, he felt his heart jump in his chest. He hadn't talked to her since that awful day and he didn't know how she was going to react. "Hey Sam," he whispered.

"Hey." she replied casually. Martin rubbed his neck, embarrassed, "Ehm…How you feeling?"

Samantha sighed. She was fed up of this question because it always reminded that she had lost her baby, that she wasn't supposed to be fine, though all she wanted was to forget.

"I-am-fine, alright?" she snapped as Martin's heart clenched. _She's blaming me…Of course she is. She hates me_, was the first thought that crossed his mind. He sat down in silence and waited for Jack to arrive, which he did, a few seconds later.

Samantha bent her head when she saw her boss and ex-lover walking towards them. She expected him to say something about her being there at work but he didn't and merely kept walking towards the board, on which he put the picture of a good-looking 17- year-old boy. He looked at the photo during some brief seconds, thinking, then turned around to face his agents.

"Morning everyone" he squinted at Sam, "sorry about the hour but I got a call from NYPD and we have a teenager missing. Jeremiah Collins, 17, took his car to see some friends at 8.30 p.m., has never come home…"

"Jack…It's been, what?, nine hours? He's a teen, he's handsome, maybe he found a sweet girlfriend to spend the night with…Or he drank too much at a party and fell asleep on whatever-his-name's couch and forgot about the hour…," Danny said, looking at the picture as Vivian cast him her famous 'talking-from-experience?' look.

"Maybe but I don't think so," Jack frowned, "His parents called all his friends and nobody saw him. According to NYPD, his parents are worried sick because another teen was found murdered a month ago near their neighborhood."

"What? They think the two cases could be connected? People should stop watching _criminal minds_, they see serial killers everywhere..." Martin commented, "What about his cell phone?"

"Been shut off" Jack replied, "but his parents say he always keeps it on. Alright, Martin, Danny, check with the hospitals, the morgues…I also want you to find all you could about this murdered kid, we never know…around 8, go to his school and interview his friends and teachers. Viv, wait for me, we're gonna see the parents…Sam, come with me" his tone was calm and gentle but his eyes were stern. Sam followed his boss docilely to his office as the others scattered towards their respective desks.

XXX

Jack sat down at his desk and motioned Sam to sit in front of him. "How is Viv treating you"?

Sam didn't expect that question, "What do you think Jack? You know Viv, she's treating me like a queen… and Marcus and Reggie are so nice with me…"

Jack smiled, he was sure of that. "And…How do you feel?"

"Fine…The bleeding and the cramping have stopped; the doctor said I was up to work, so here I am…"

"I am glad but that's not what I want to hear…" Jack replied. His eyes were now deep and intense and Sam had difficulty holding his stare. She took a deep breath, "I'm OK, I feel fine considering the circumstances…I mean, I got over it"

"What you've been through is hard, you're not supposed to feel fine after only a few days…"

"How do you know that, huh? Have you ever experienced a miscarriage? Oh, no, I forgot, you have a PhD in Psychology…That means that you know how I feel better than I do, is that right?"

Jack sighed, "You're on the defensive…"

"Of course I am!" Sam exclaimed, "Everyone expects me to be broken. How can I be fine when no one thinks it could be possible?"

"We're just concerned about you…" Jack tried to soothe her.

"So don't." she snapped but regretted it. "Look, I appreciate your concern and your support but I need to move on. I'm not gonna stay locked in my room, crying my eyes out…I want to work, I need it."

"Ok…But no field and don't argue…Just take it easy. And if you need to talk…"

"I know, I know…You're there." Sam cut him off gently.

"I was thinking of Dr. Harris, you two get along but my door is always open to you, of course," he said as Sam smiled genuinely, "Go. Try to find all you could about the parents. I wanna know everything about them," he carried on as Sam got up.

"Oh and Sam...Good luck with the boys. They're going through some kind of late adolescence crisis…"

"I'm afraid it's more serious than that…" Sam replied.

"I know." Jack whispered.

XXX

_6.__40 a.m._

"He told us he would be back for midnight and we went to bed…I don't sleep well, so around 2 o'clock I got up and…and I noticed he hadn't come home…" Jeremiah's mother, Judy, sniffed, trying not to cry, "I was kind of worried so I tried to call him on his cell – he has a new cell phone, a blackberry, I think – but no answer. John and I realized something was wrong, so we called all his friends but he was nowhere to be found…That's why we called the police…"

John, his husband, put a strong hand on her shoulder. "You know, he's a tough kid, I mean, my boy is not a sissy, he can defend himself…Something really bad must've happened, something really bad…We heard about the kid who got murdered and …"

"M. Collins," Jack cut him off, "We don't even know if the two cases are connected…I know it is difficult for you but please don't jump to conclusions, we need you both to focus. We're gonna do our best to find your son, trust me. I need to know more about him, can you tell me if you have noticed something unusual in his behavior lately? It could be something small…"

"Ehm…" John Collins frowned, thinking, "He broke up with his two-year girlfriend, Leighton, without any explanations. When we tried to ask him why, he told us it was none of our business…we didn't push further."

"He's been kind of moody these days…I can't remember when it started… Now, he spends a lot more time locked up in his room and a lot less time talking to us. We've just assumed it was a normal reaction…he's a teen, he's got his own rhythm, you see?" Judy added, a tear rolling down his cheek, "Do you think something we should've seen something else? Do you think we could've prevented that from happening?"

Vivian squeezed Judy's arm, "Don't blame yourself Mrs. Collins, we don't know what happened. Could I take a look at his room, please?"

Judy Collins nodded and showed her the way. Viv looked all around the room, trying to feel its atmosphere. She could picture Jeremiah sat on his bed, listening to his iPod; Jeremiah on his computer, chatting with his friends; Jeremiah at his desk, studying…She saw him so clearly that she could almost touch him. Her attention was drawn to an orange and black banner pinned above his bed.

"Princeton?" she asked Judy, smiling.

"Yeah, it's been his dream since he's a kid…He had all his chances thanks to basketball but unfortunately, he had to stop playing. But we're not worried, he's a 4.0 student and has many other extra-school activities…" Jeremiah's mother replied proudly.

"Why did he have to stop playing?" Viv asked.

"An injury…He fell during a match and as his shoulder hurt him more and more, the doctor said it could be dangerous for him to keep playing…"

"How did your husband react when he knew?"

"He was disappointed; of course…I was too. At first, John thought that Jeremiah was exaggerating, that he had to make an effort and stay strong but every time Jeremiah tried to lift his arm, he couldn't help grimacing…So we both realized the pain was too strong and he left the team...Coach Fisher was pretty mad, Jeremiah was one of his best players…"

When she saw Vivian's look, Judy hastened to add, "I know what you're thinking but my son left the team a month ago and even if his coach is known to yell a lot, he's a good man."

Viv nodded slightly and kept scanning the room. She soon noticed some dark spots on the floor, just beside Jeremiah's bed. Kneeling down, she examined them closer and realized it was some dried blood. She turned her head towards Judy Collins, "There is some blood on the floor, could you explain this?"

"Blood?" Jeremiah's mother exclaimed, horrified.

"Yes. Mrs. Collins, is there something you're hiding to us?" Vivian's tone was calm, courteous but her eyes couldn't lie. A young man's life was at stake and if his parents had hurt him in any way, she was gonna do anything she could to protect him.

"No, what are you thinking? Do you think I could've done something to Jeremiah? To my son? To my little boy?" Her voice broke and Viv knew she was telling the truth.

"What about your husband?"

"John? No, never, no way…he often loses his temper, I can't deny it but he would never raise his hand to our son, you hear me? Never. He slapped him once when he was 15 and he still regrets it. I don't know where the blood comes from…Maybe he cut himself or…or…Oh my God, what happened to my baby?" Judy put a hand on her mouth to choke a sob.

XXX

Sam rubbed her eyes, trying to clear her blurry vision. She had been exhausted all the time since the miscarriage but still she didn't manage to sleep. So when Viv had been called by Jack three hours earlier, she had seized the opportunity to come back to work, because despite the fatigue, she was glad to focus on something else than the shadows on the ceiling. She suddenly realized how quiet the bullpen was. Surprisingly quiet. Usually, Martin and Danny were talking, joking, thinking out loud and teasing each other but now, they just kept their mouths shut. She could've cut the tension with a knife and she hated it. Being fed up of the silence, she rolled her chair over to Danny's desk, "Hey, what do you got?"

Danny shook his head, "Nothing so far. No Johnny Does in hospitals or morgues, no one matches his description. I faxed his picture to the police stations, they're gonna put it up everywhere…I don't think it would be useful though. So many kids disappear every day, people don't pay attention anymore. I mean, you can see missing people posters on the bus stop, in the subway or in the coffee shop, you can see them everywhere and yet, no one notice them." Danny said powerlessly. "He's still a kid…I…I can't get used to it."

Sam smiled gently, "Do you know what our wise and beloved boss told me one day?"

"No, shoot…"

"When you get used to it, it's time to hang it up…"

"Jack the Wise" Danny smiled.

"Want some coffee?"

"I'm fine, thanks…"

Sam nodded slightly and stepped towards Martin's desk. "Hey Martin, do I grab you some coffee?"

Martin lifted his eyes to Sam, then looked down right away. Seeing her reminded him how much he had failed her. "That would be nice, thanks…" he replied hesitantly. Sam felt tears stinging her eyes when she noticed that Martin was avoiding her look. She assumed he pitied her and it was the last straw that broke the camel's back. To be pitied by her ex-boyfriend, by the man she was in love with was something very hurtful. She headed quickly towards the break room and once arrived there, buried her face in her hands. Was every day gonna be so hard? She took a couple of shaky breaths, and poured the coffee. A few minutes later, she came back and silently put Martin's FBI mug on his desk and walked back to her own desk, without looking at him. As Martin grimaced, feeling bad, Danny stood up. "Martin, let's go to the school…"

XXX

_Stuyvesant High School 7: 45_

"This school's gonna be famous for its disappearances…Two in three months, I think we got a record…" Danny said, parking the car in front of the entrance.

"Don't feel obliged to make small talk to me," Martin replied, opening the door.

Danny banged the wheel in frustration, "Martin, I'm trying here, ok?…"

"Don't bother" Martin replied, heading towards the building as Danny rolled his eyes. They both scattered, as Martin interviewed Jeremiah's friends, Danny did the same with his teachers. He walked towards a classroom and found a young woman leafing through a book. He raised his eyebrows, surprised.

"Calista? Hey…"

Calista lifted up her eyes and turned them towards him. "Danny? Hello…" she exclaimed, "What…What are you doing here?"

"One of the students is missing, I'm looking for his te…wait, are you Jeremiah Collins' teacher?"

"Jeremiah? Yes, I'm his English teacher."

"I didn't know you worked here…"

"It's a long story, I found this job two months after I arrived in New York. They really needed a new teacher" Calista replied.

"The former one died…" Danny said, a shadow coming across his face.

"How do you know?" Calista asked.

"I found her…"

"Oh crap…Sorry, I didn't know that. Did you tell Jeremiah was missing?"

"Yep, he disappeared last night, we still don't have any clue about what happened…That's why we're here. What can you tell me about him?" Danny asked her, opening his notepad.

"Well, I hardly know him…I haven't been here long enough. He's popular, athletic…"

"Good student?"

"Yes, A -straight...He's a smart kid, very witty, sensible. He has an opinion on everything. It's a real pleasure, let me tell you, to have a student like him in class…When we discuss about books, he's really into it, he sees and understands things than the others don't…Yell, well, he's a bit rowdy but he's 17…I was a lot worse at his age!"

"Any problems? With classmates? Teachers?"

"Jeremiah? No, the boys look up to him, the girls are in love with him and the teachers are glad to have him as student…I can't find a reason for him to disappear…Jeez, I hope nothing bad's happened to him."

"Neither do I…We're doing our best to find him, trust me," Danny replied then looked deeply into her big blue eyes, "How are you?"

"I'm fine" Calista shrugged, "you?"

"The same…" Danny smiled gently, "Ehm…Calista, Martin's here…"

Calista looked down, "great…"

In the meantime, Martin was interviewing Dean, Jeremiah's best friend.

"Yeah, her mother called me in the middle of the night, worried sick…I just don't know where he's gone…It's kind of surprising, Prince always tells me everything…"

"Prince?" Martin asked.

"Yeah, Prince…Princeton. You know the University…He has wanted to go there since we're old enough to think about college. I found the nickname, it wasn't too difficult…"

"How long have you guys been friends?"

"As long as I can remember, I've always been his best bud," Dean replied, running his hand through his hair many times.

"You seem nervous" Martin stated.

"Well, wouldn't be nervous if your best friend was missing?"

"I guess…" Martin replied. "Any girl in his life?"

"Used to. Leighton…They were such a great item but he broke up with her, I don't know why. He never told me or explained Leighton…He's been kind of weird these days..."

"Any reason for that?"

Martin saw Dean try to avoid his eyes, "Don't know…"

"Look buddy, your friend is maybe in danger. If there is something you want to tell me, it's the right time."

"I really don't know. I asked him but he told me he was fine. I'm sure it is nothing or he would've told me…"

"Could he be on drugs?"

"Prince? Not a chance. Clearly you don't know him or you wouldn't have asked this question…His cousin ODed last year and it was really hard for him. He would never take drugs, believe me. Oh look, this is Leighton over there, near your colleague and Miss Fitzgerald." Dean said, pointing a finger to a small brunette.

_What is she doing here?_ Martin thought, seeing her sister go out of a classroom with Danny. He felt a surge of anger rise in his chest and unconsciously clenched his fists. "Thanks Dean," he said, his eyes still focused on her sister, and walked towards her. He couldn't help noticing the look and smile Danny and Calista shared, her cheeks turning pink and Danny's hand slightly brushing against hers. He shook his head, trying to chase away the thought that had just crossed his mind.

Calista's body tensed when she saw her brother coming her way. "Hi Marty…" she said hesitantly.

Martin didn't answer her and turned his eyes towards Danny, "Could you interview Leighton, Jeremiah's ex-girlfriend? It's the girl over there, opening her locker. I have to speak to my si…to Miss Fitzgerald" he said with contempt.

Danny looked at Calista, who nodded, making him understand she could handle it. He sighed and walked away. Being alone, Martin finally decided to speak to his sister.

"With these shirt and trousers, you almost look like a grown-up…" he said. Calista didn't reply and waited for him to carry on.

"So 'Miss Fitzgerald', you're a teacher now? How come? You were expelled from college…"

"I've applied to the University of Nevada, I've been accepted, I've finished my studies and here I am…"

"And where did you find the money to pay for your studies?"

Calista shook her head, laughing. "I'm sure that if you try really hard, you can find the answer by yourself…"

"Mum and Dad…"

"I always knew you were smart, Marty." Calista replied sarcastically.

"Let me tell you what you are Calista. You're a profiteer… A spoiled child. You took the parents' money, you went away to live your life without thinking about them, without thinking about me…Tell me I'm wrong…"

"What's the point in defending myself? You've already judged me!" Calista almost shouted but lowered her voice quickly. She didn't want to be seen fighting at her job.

"You know what?" Martin stepped forward, "I don't care anymore…You decided to walk out of my life, it was your choice but it's too late now to come back in."

"Martin…" she whispered, looking down. "I have an explanation for…"

"Don't even try." Martin snapped. He wanted to go away, away from the pain and the anger he felt but before that, he had to know something.

"I have a question for you."

"Go ahead" Calista sighed.

"I…ehm…I've noticed how you look at Danny and how he looks at you. You two seem somehow…connected."

"What do you wanna know Martin?"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"Oh please, don't play the protective big brother with me! After what you told me, it's kind of inappropriate, don't you think?"

"You did it, didn't you?"

Calista clenched her jaw. She knew it was pointless lying to Martin. She could lie to almost everyone but him.

"I can't believe it!" Martin exclaimed, "is it another way to piss me off?

"Yes, sure, I'm that evil! I slept with your partner just to make you angry…Let me tell you something bro, my world doesn't turn around you"

"I had noticed that, _sister_" Martin snapped. "So, what? You accidentally fell in love with my co-worker?"

"No…It's not that…It was a mistake all right? We were in the same bar, we had a talk and…" she shook her head, "I don't want to have this conversation, ok?"

"Yeah, I see, he was just one of the many men you slept with. At least, you remember his name this time…"

"Are you calling me a whore?" Calista asked, her eyes burning with anger.

"No, whores are smart enough to get paid, you just do it for free!" he spat out. The slap he received left a red finger-shaped mark on his cheek. "I used to look up to you Martin, you were my hero for years, I wonder why now…" Calista said, tears welling up in her eyes, and walked away.

Danny, who was listening to Leighton's story, turned his head when he heard the sound of the slap.

"What's going on?" Leighton asked Danny, "why did Miss Fitzgerald slap your colleague?"

"Family issues," Danny smiled embarrassed and worried. "What were you telling me Leighton?" he asked the brunette, throwing glances to Martin, who was standing motionless, and to Calista, who was taking deep breaths to prevent tears from falling. He wished he could be by her side to make sure she was ok.

"I said he didn't give me explanations…" Leighton carried on.

"_I need some explanations__, I deserve them!" Leighton said, tears streaming down her face. "Is there someone else?"_

_Jeremiah didn't answer._

"_Answer me!" Leighton shouted._

"_You're the only girl I have really loved…There is no other girl in my life, it's the truth."_

"_So why? Why? You just stopped loving me, that's it?" she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. Jeremiah stepped forward and put his forehead against hers, "No, baby, I ain't stopped loving you…You're amazing, funny, beautiful, smart and…and I love you…as I can, I spent two wonderful years thanks to you but I just can't anymore.."_

_Leighton pushed him back, "It doesn't make any sense…I love you, you love me…why can't we just be together?"_

_A tear rolled down Jeremiah's face, "I don't ask you to understand or forgive me…This is about me and I'm sorry…The last thing I want is to hurt you."_

"And that was over," Leighton said sadly.

"When did it happen?" Danny asked.

"A month ago."

"What did he mean by 'I love you as I can'?" Danny frowned.

"I wish I knew. You'll ask him when you find him, I still need some answers…" Leighton replied, closing the locker door.

"Thanks Leighton…"

"Sure. I hope he's ok. You know I'm mad at him, I even think I hate him but I can't help loving him though. It's complicated."

"I understand." Danny smiled gently. He walked towards Martin, thinking. "You know, when we know what this boy is hiding, we'll find where he is" he told him, not mentioning what had happened with his sister.

"Yeah…" Martin said softly, "let's go outside, will you? I need some fresh air."

Danny nodded and followed him outside. He scanned the hallway to find Calista but she was already gone. The bells were ringing and all the students hurried to enter the classrooms. Once outside, Martin looked around him to make sure they were alone, then flung Danny against a wall, causing him to bang his head. Danny fell some warm blood slowly stream down his neck. "What the hell?" he exclaimed.

"You slept with my sister…" Martin replied. His tone was calm, dangerous.


	13. Still missing

**Hey Guys, it's been like...wow a year! Very sorry about that, got a tough year at school...But now I'm graduated! Yeah! Don't know if you guys are still into this story since the show ended and I've been very absent but here's the next chapter. Let me know if you like it **

**Chapter 13**

Danny grimaced, while rubbing the back of his head. He then looked at his fingers covered with blood, gobsmacked. "Are you totally nuts?" he exclaimed, looking daggers at Martin.

"You son of a bitch, I'm gonna break your sorry neck…" Martin replied, his fists clenched.

Danny burst out laughing, "You're sad and pathetic Martin. You wanna kick my ass? Do it! Come on, let's finish this once and for all…What are you waiting for?"

"Don't try me" Martin retaliated, his jaw clenched. His face was all red and his carotid was quivering in his neck. Danny knew it would've been dangerous to keep on provoking him, so he took a deep breath to calm down and raised his hands in peace.

"Martin, look…Calista and I are both consenting adults, we did nothing wrong. We…"

"I know what you did…You just banged her, then left, like you do with every girl…I don't even know why I'm surprised, Calista always falls for men who make her miserable."

Danny felt his blood boil in his vein. He didn't like Martin's attitude but above all, he was hurt that Martin had so bad an opinion of him. He pointed a finger at Martin, angry. "Hey, you don't know the first thing about what happened, ok? Yes, it was a mistake. We shouldn't have slept together for many reasons but we BOTH took the decision not to go on. I would never hurt Calista, you hear me? And tell me Martin, why are you so upset? I thought you no longer cared about your sister…"

"I'm mad at Calista, and yes, maybe I hate her right now but I'm still his big brother and I have the duty to protect her." Martin closed his eyes for a brief moment, remembering the day he had made the promise to always be there for her little sister. He was at Bonnie's bedside, trying to forget she was dying and suddenly he had felt her cold hand squeezing his. She had made him promise to watch over Calista, no matter what. She knew that his niece could be fragile, even if she tried not to show it. He opened his eyes and stared at Danny, "I'm not obliged to be nice with her but I won't let her screw up her life with guys like you."

"Guys like me?" Danny repeated, coldly. Before Martin had the opportunity to answer, Danny's cell started ringing and he picked it up.

"Taylor?"

"Hey, Danny, it's Viv. Are you at the school?"

"Yes"

"You boys found something interesting?", she asked him.

"This kid is definitively hiding something but so far, we haven't found out what it is. What about you?

"We found some blood in his room, not much but still…Something happened to this boy a month ago, something bad. You should interview his baseball coach, Coach Fisher. Jeremiah had to stop playing because of an injury, find out all you can about it."

"Okay" Danny replied softly.

"Dan, you ok? You sound…strange" Vivian asked, worried. As the years went by, Vivian had learnt many things about his co-worker. She had learnt to listen to his silences, to see through his smiles and on that moment, just at the sound of his voice, she could tell something was wrong.

"I'm fine. Don't worry."

As Viv rolled her eyes, Danny hung up. He then threw Martin a dirty look and went away. As Martin didn't move, he turned around, "Are you coming or what? We have work…".

"You know what Danny? As far as I'm concerned, our friendship is over."

"Fine to me…" Danny shrugged. "Now, come…"

* * *

"Hey Sam…" Vivian said, entering the bullpen with Jack.

"Hey…how did it go with the parents?" she asked.

"They're worried sick and we haven't learnt much from them…there's something wrong with this kid but I can't put my finger on it." Jack frowned.

"Well, I've done some research on the parents and they're clean, I mean, a couple of fines over the last past years but that's all. They're like any other family…if they have some skeletons in their closet, they're very well hidden."

"I don't think the parents have anything to do with the kid's disappearance. What about the boy who was killed a month ago?"

"He was found in a parking lot, beaten to death. It doesn't fit Jack…First the kid was Afro-American, he was a member of a gang, he didn't have the same friends, didn't go to the same school …He and Jeremiah have nothing in common."

"I hadn't put much hope in this lead anyway" Jack replied.

"Jeremiah's doctor is waiting in your office, Jack…I asked him to come."

Jack nodded and headed quickly towards his office to meet Dr. Cusack, Jeremiah's sports doctor. Opening his big glass-made door, he greeted him.

"Dr. Cusack, thank you for coming in" he said, shaking hands with him, "I'm Special Agent Jack Malone"

"What can I do for you Agent Malone?" Dr. Cusack replied, speaking with a deep, smooth voice.

"It's about Jeremiah Collins, one the students you used to follow…He disappeared last night."

"Jeremiah is missing?" He opened his eyes, surprised, "Oh..ehm…well…how can I help you?"

Jack sat down on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms over his chest, "well, his mother told us he had been injured during one match."

"Yes, he was pushed by one of the players and fell. He broke his collarbone…A bad fracture, I can remember, but fortunately for him, it healed up very well. That's why I was surprised when he told me he was still in a lot of pain."

"_So tell me Jeremiah, how's the shoulder?" Dr. Cusack asked 'Prince' while watching his X-rays._

"_Not that good doc', still hurts a lot…I can hardly lift my arm."_

"_It's kind of surprising, your facture seems to be healing very well…are you still going to rehab?"_

"_Aye doc', three times a week, just like you ordered."_

_Dr. Cusack took a rubber ball on his desk and played with it during some brief seconds, looking at the 17-year-old boy sitting in front of him._

"_What's going on Prince?" Dr. Cusack said gently, using the boy's nickname, "Have you got problems? Are you under pressure?"_

"_I don't know what you're talkin' about doc'…"_

"_Mmmh mmmh" the doctor murmured thoughtful. He then suddenly threw the ball towards Jeremiah. It flew just a few inches above the teen's head and the latter caught it agilely. _

"_That's what I thought" Dr. Cusack sighed, "your arm is fine."_

_As Jeremiah looked down, he carried on coldly, "what do you want? Painkillers? Let me tell you one thing, it's not gonna happen. I'm really disappointed Jeremiah, I thought you were the serious kind."_

_Jeremiah was still looking at the floor, his jaw clenched._

"_Jeremiah…" Dr. Cusack said, his tone smoother, "if you have any problems, you can tell me. I can help you through this…You're not the first kid who…"_

"_I don't want any damn pills!" Jeremiah Collins burst out, his eyes burning with something Dr. Cusack couldn't define. "I'm not a freakin' addict, alright?...I am not a freak" Prince said, standing up, "I am not a freak!"_

"_Jeremiah, calm down…Relax son…I'm just trying to help" Dr Cusack said stepping forward as the boy in front of him was stepping back. "Calm down alright? Alright?" he repeated slowly, cautiously, while looking deeply into his eyes._

_Jeremiah Collins nervously ran a hand over his face, "Sorry doc'…I've been a little bit on edge lately…"_

"_Would you tell me why?"_

"_I'm tired, I guess" he unsuccessfully tried to lie._

"_Jeremiah, I'm your doctor. Whatever you tell me is between us…"_

Dr. Cusack paused and looked at Jack, "I suppose that part is not really true, is it?"

"Listen, I understand and respect the relationship doctor/patient but if you have any information that could help us find this boy, you have to tell us."

"He wanted an excuse to leave the basketball team. He knew his father, his coach and his teammates wouldn't understand, so he asked me to lie for him, to pretend that his injury was more serious than it really was. And I did it…"

"Did he tell you why he wanted to be out of the team?"

"No, he didn't say a word. I was really surprised; I mean, Jeremiah is the best player of the school, his future is all mapped out. Besides, all his best friends are part of the team, like Dean Oldfield…They do everything together…You should interview him, he probably knows where he is."

"We will." Jack replied, noting the boy's name down on his notepad, "Have you ever noticed any trace of abuse?"

Dr Cusack shook his head, "No…I don't think so but I'm only his sports doctor and I haven't seen him for a month. But I've met his parents once and they seem really nice and caring; they're not the violent type."

"What about his classmates? Could he be bullied or something?"

Dr Cusack laughed softly, "It's high school Agent Malone…Jeremiah is a jock and jocks are generally the bullies, not the opposite. But Jeremiah is a sweet kid; everyone likes him."

"Thank you Dr Cusack."

"If I can do something else, just ask me, alright?"

* * *

"Thank you Mrs. Collins…" Vivian said, hanging up the phone, her eyes frowned.

"What's wrong, Viv?" Sam asked, rolling back her chair.

Seeing Martin and Danny entering the bullpen, she waited for them before speaking. When they were close enough, she explained them what Jeremiah's mother had told her.

"Mrs. Collins found a razor blade covered with dried blood under Jeremiah's mattress, as well as some bandages."

"That sounds not good…" Sam mumbled.

"Perhaps that's the way he found to make his pain or whatever that bothers him make away" Viv added, a serious look upon her face.

"What? You mean this poor kid might self-injure?" Martin exclaimed.

"It's a possibility, indeed. When you think about his behavior lately…"

"But why? What caused it?" Danny said, almost angrily, "According to his…according to everyone, he's a happy problem-free teen. He's smart, athletic, funny, good-looking and everybody likes him. We interviewed all his friends, his teachers and his basketball coach, and we learnt nothing! We're still clueless…you must be in a lot of despair to cut yourself, how come nobody never noticed it?"

"Well, we have to find what happened a month ago," Vivian replied.

"Where do we begin?" Martin asked.

"Mac has his laptop, he's trying to crack his passwords…" Sam answered turning her head towards Martin, but when she met his blue eyes, he looked away on the spot. She bit her lips, hurt. Danny, noticing Martin's reaction, felt a wave of anger wash over him. He clenched his jaw and put a hand on Viv's shoulder, "where is Jack?"

"In his office. He's interviewing Jeremiah's sports doctor…Look, here he comes" she said, seeing his boss, who looked older and older everyday, coming their way.

Everyone settled down around the conference table, ready to discuss theories. During a couple of seconds, Jack gazed at Jeremiah's picture in complete silence, then pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"We have a 17-year-old missing and we don't have a single lead…Martin, Danny, what did you learn?"

Danny spoke first, "well, nothing new really…we spoke to his teacher" he swallowed hard, feeling Martin's angry eyes on him when he mentioned Calista, "and his friends and they all like him…He's like idolized or something…I mean, he has everything for him Jack…"

"I see…Something went wrong though…Any clue on that?"

"Spoke to his best friend, Dean…Oldfield" Martin replied looking at his notes, "he can't explain his change of mood…Jeremiah didn't say a thing…according to him, it would very unlikely that Jeremiah is on drugs."

"And her ex?" Viv asked, "what did she say?"

"The same" Danny answered, "he dumped her but explained nothing…I just…." Danny sighed in frustration, "this kid's a mystery."

"What about the friends he was supposed to meet the night he disappeared?" Sam asked.

"No one from the school apparently and his closest friends are in his class" Martin shook his head.

"Well, I spoke to his sports doctor…Jeremiah didn't want to go back to the team…he even asked to lie for him, to give him an excuse…" Jack put his elbows on the table and crossed his hands under his chin.

"And of course, he didn't say why" Danny said, more for himself than for anybody else.

"Nope…You guys did spoke to his coach, right?" Jack turned his gaze towards Danny and Martin.

Martin nodded, "Once again, nothing we can use…His teammates love him, they're really close, a few arguments sometimes but no fights, no drugs…"

"No drugs?" Jack raised one eyebrow.

"A few parties with too much alcohol maybe, but apart from that, no they're clean…Just a bunch of friends and basketball."

"Right." Jack replied, half-convinced. "What about his injury?"

"He fell during practice. Nothing suspect about it…" Danny said, "Coach Fisher can't explain his behavior during the past month but he gave us this…" Danny carried on, taking a small, shiny USB key out of his pocket.

"What is it?" Jack frowned.

"A short movie, filmed while the team was celebrating Dean's 18th birthday in the gym. It is dated a month ago, the day before Jeremiah broke his shoulder…Dunno if it will help but we can give it a shot."

Jack agreed silently, took the USB key from Danny's hand and inserted it in his computer. Everyone gathered around him to see the screen. Jack launched the video player and some female voices pierced through the silence that had now fell on the bullpen.

"_Give me a D, give me an A, give me an E, give me an N…D-E-A-N…Deannnnnn! Happy birthday!!" Leighton and three other cheerleaders shouted when Dean appeared in the gym. Dean's smile quickly turned into a laugh when he realized that the cheerleaders were wearing some basketball jerseys and shorts and that his teammates were wearing the cheerleader uniforms – wigs, makeup and pom pons included._

"_You guys are so cute…" Dean laughed, "Man, I can believe it!"_

"_It's your birthday, you're legal buddy!" a now very feminine Jeremiah exclaimed. "Want a kiss from a sexy cheerleader?" he said approaching his lips colored with red lipstick to Dean's cheek._

"_Back off Prince!" Dean playfully hit his shoulder as they both burst into laughter. "Hey coach Fisher! No pom pons for you?" he exclaimed at the camera._

"_Bit too old for this, don't you think son? I have the camera so I have the right not to wear a skirt" _

"_Come on!" Nate – Rabbit for his friends, a 6'2" African-American senior said, putting his arm around Dean's shoulders, "Go open your presents."_

"_You guys shouldn't have! Let's see, what do we have here…" he said, tearing the wrapping of a small packet open. "A…wow…a pink laced thong. Nate, is that yours?" he laughed._

"_Nope, Prince's maybe…" he replied._

"_Ahaha funny, you know mine are black" Jeremiah smiled. "I think there is a something written on it, look"_

"_Happy B-day gorgeous. Call me, Kate. 555-22 399" Dean read out loud, "wow, is that Kate Summers? I mean, Kate, the girl I've tried to seduce since…forever?"_

"_I think so, and apparently, she's a naaaasty girl" Nate replied as the others laughed._

"_Oh man!" was all that Dean could answer._

_Jeremiah turned his head towards the camera, embarrassed "ehm Coach Fisher…"_

"_Just filming. Pretend I'm not here, I don't see or hear anything. I don't want to anyway…God knows how much I wished I was not here right now…" a voice behind the camera replied._

_Dean finished opening his presents and thanked his friends many times. "Hey guys" he said, taking a ball in his hands, somebody feels like playing?"_

"_I'm in!" Jeremiah said, taking off his wig._

"_Everyone's in" Nate added, taking the ball away from Dean's hands…"hey birthday boy, today is your day but I will kick your ass!" he added smiling._

"_In your pathetic dreams Rabbit, but you can try…."_

"_We'll see. I take Tyler in my team" _

"_Take whoever you want, as long as I got Prince…"_

"_Hey bitch, your boyfriend wants you by his side" Nate told Jeremiah, who pushed him playfully. _

"_Shut up!"_

"_Boys, please…" Coach Fisher said in a desperate tone. Being coach for many years, he was used to his players' rude talking but sometimes it was just too much._

"_Sorry coach" Jeremiah apologized. All boys divided into the two teams and started playing. Seeing his team lose, Dean exclaimed: "What's going on Prince, you're playing like a girl."_

"_Maybe that's because I'm dressed like a girl. You can't move in that uniform and it itches and…"_

"_Aahaha, complaining, complaining, now you're talking like a girl…"_

"_What did you say?" Jeremiah said, pretending to be angry. He stepped towards Dean and they started fighting playfully as they used to do so many times._

"_Be careful sweetie, you might break a nail" Dean grinned. Jeremiah charged him and they both fell to the ground, laughing. The other ones started laughing, too because Jeremiah had ended up sitting astride Dean's chest, his pulled up cheerleader skirt revealing his boxers._

"_Just like that baby, you're turning me on" Dean crossed his arms behind his head, a playful smile upon his lips. But as Jeremiah went pale, Dean straightened up "Hey Prince, just kidding…"_

_Jeremiah got up, a weak smile crossing his face. "You Ok?" Dean asked concerned, getting up._

_Jeremiah stood silent for some brief seconds then said: "No, Dean I'm not. I think that you should treat girls with a bit more of respect…Cause I'm a woman! W-O-M-A-N, I'll say it again" he started singing._

"_You're such a jerk!" Dean laughed. The camera then focused on the cheerleaders that had prepared a special choreography for Dean's birthday._

The film stopped a few seconds after.

"He's just a happy, funny kid…What made him change?" Danny said, shaking his head.

"And why, suddenly, did he want to quit the team?" Martin added, "It doesn't make sense. It's his world…"

"Maybe you'll find your answers in this." Mac said, walking towards Jack's desk, wearing Jeremiah's laptop.

"I'll take it" Danny said. "Let's hope we'll find something…"


	14. Surprising news

**Hi guys...I am so, so sorry about the delay...It's supposed to be a long story but if I keep writing so slowly, I'll be 90 when I post the last chapter XD...I'm doing my best really and I'll try harder to be faster. Anyway, here is chapter 14**

**Chapter 14**

"His e-mail address is _princeboy_ 22 _and the password is _iris _" Mac said, « if you need anything, just ask, a'right ? »

"Yeah…thanks Mac " Danny replied absent-mindedly, putting the laptop in front of him, "Jeremiah, Jeremiah, let's see what you're hiding from us, buddy" he added, mumbling.

"Iris…a girl's name…Anyone got an ID on her?" Jack asked, frowning, as all his co-workers shook their head in ignorance.

"He was dating..ehm..Leighton, maybe he cheated on her with this Iris girl, maybe that's why he broke up with her…" Martin suggested.

"Yeah, maybe…Or it's a cousin, a friend, or even the name of his first pet…Could be anything" Sam said, doubtfully, "I'm gonna call his mother". As the others kept discussing theories, Danny got down reading Jeremiah's e-mails and IM's. Half an hour later, he lifted his head from the computer screen to look at his co-workers.

"Princeton newsletters, junk mail, basketball scores…" he enumerated, "that kid just doesn't keep many personal mails…"

"He must've erased them" Viv said, "What about his IM's?"

"Still reading them, it's the usual stuff…school, basketball, girls, parties…you name it. Nothing out of the ordinary, really."

« What about the Internet history? Any weird web sites? » Vivian asked, rolling her chair closer to Danny.

"Go back to one or two months ago" Jack added.

Danny ran his finger over the touchpad and pointed the arrow on the internet history tab. "Nothing" he said, "Am gonna check on Mozilla…" he added, switching to Firefox. "Nada. Come on, is this kid paranoid or what?"

"Or, he's jut watching porn…" Martin said and as all eyes focused on him, he added, "The kid is 17, he's a jock full of testosterone and I don't think he spends his free time watching _The Little House on the Prairie. _Just sayin'…"

"On the other hand, we're in 2009 and his parents are not Amish. If he's watching porn, he just doesn't have to hide it, especially on his own PC. It must be something worse, something he doesn't want his parents or anyone else to know…" Sam said. "Danny, did you check on Facebook? Maybe, he only erased the history, not the cookies…you still might have access to his account"

"Am on it, I have access" he said, tapping on the keyboard. After a couple of minutes, his co-workers could hear him sigh.

"What's wrong?" Jack said.

Danny shook his head, "No…nothing, it's just that…when you look at his pictures, he seems so happy, so young…I mean, it sucks."

Jack let his eyes fall on his agent. "I know but focus" he said sternly but his voice was betrayed by some kind of affection. Danny nodded in approval, then frowned his eyebrows, " weird…"

"What's weird?" Vivian asked, puzzled.

"Some of the messages he received in his mailbox… Just hear this _:'Hi Jeremiah, how're you doing? I haven't heard from you since the last time we talked…Are you ok? I'm worried…Contact me.' 'Buddy, I know you're scared – I was too, but you have to do it!' 'Hi Jeremiah, come on man….just don't chicken out!'_" Danny read out loud, "And this last one: _'Hey…D-day, did you do it?'_…It's dated yesterday morning" he added.

"Who's the sender?" Martin said.

"Derek Dooley…I don't understand, the mails seem personal and they're not even friends…".

"How do you know they're not?" Jack asked.

"He's not in his friends list," Danny replied and as Jack cocked an eyebrow in incomprehension, Vivian carried on, "It's a Facebook thing, you add the people you like to your friends list" She explained.

"Mhm. Thanks. You on Facebook?" Jack smiled.

"No…But I like to know what Reggie does during his free time" she replied, then turned her head to Danny, "Danny, what's on Derek Dooley's profile?"

"Let's see…Born on March, 19th, 1988. Lives on 1122 Forest Hill Road, Staten Island. Am printing his picture…"

"Ok." Jack said, "Danny, Martin, go to Staten Island to find out what Mister Dooley is hiding and let me be very clear, you two fight again, you're both fired. Understood?"

As the two agents kept silent, he repeated: "Understood?"

"Yeah…" they both whispered, looking down.

"Good. Viv, you and I are going to see the parents, Sam…" Jack said but was cut off by his blond co-worker, "I know…I stay here" she smiled sadly.

They all got up and Danny took Martin apart from the rest of his co-workers.

"Look, this shit between us, I can deal with it but I won't accept you acting like a jerk with Sam" he said, his jaw clenched.

"What the hell do you mean??" Martin sighed, exasperated.

"How do you think she's supposed to feel when you don't even look at her? It's her first day back since the..." Danny paused "...and you just ignore her"

"You don't know anything, so just shut up!" Martin, his jaw clenched.

"Why don't you explain to me, huh, why don't you explain why you're being such a moron? I'm really eager to know, Martin!" Danny's eyes were black and locked on Martin's.

"'CAUSE IT WAS MY FAULT, ALRIGHT?" Martin almost shouted, his bottom lip quivering and his whole body tensed. He was furious, mostly against himself for being unable to restrain his emotions, especially in front of Danny; and above all, he was feeling very guilty for failing Sam.

Danny opened his mouth, ready to retaliate but closed it without saying anything. He was torn between his anger towards Martin and his instinct to reassure him, because, no matter what had happened between them, seeing him hurt and vulnerable was not something Danny could enjoy.

"Look," Danny finally said, gently, "I'm also responsible for..."

He didn't have the time to finish his sentence, being cut off by his blond co-worker.

"Stop it!!" Sam exclaimed. Both Danny and Martin turned around to see a very angry Samantha.

"You have no right to feel guilty, you have no right, you hear me? This is not about you, this is about me, this is...this was my baby and it's not your fault, you hear me, it's...it's just fate...it's..." she couldn't carry on, as tears began to stream down her cheeks. She sniffed hard and walked away quickly as Danny stretched out his arm towards her. "Sam..." he said, softly.

"I take it from here" Vivian said sternly, "and you'd better get going because if Jack doesn't kick your sorry asses, I will! Now, go!"

As Martin and Danny headed to the underground FBI parking lot, pretty shaken up by what had just happened, Vivian walked to the break room to meet Sam, who was crying her soul out. Vivian took a deep breath before speaking, "you don't want them to feel guilty, because if it's not fate's fault, that means that..." she said but was cut off by Sam.

"I should never have gone there...I knew the risks and I still went..." she wiped her eyes.

"Sam, you had no way to predict what would happen, you were three months pregnant and it was just a routine interview...Sam, this is not your fault..." Viv stepped closer.

"Viv..." Samantha broke into tears again.

"Oh sweetie..." Viv's heart clutched, "I've been down this road before and..."

"You lost a baby?" She asked between two sobs.

"Yeah, two years before Reggie came into our life...Jack wasn't the boss back then and still got a moustache" Sam smiled a little and the two women sat down as Vivian carried on with her story, "it was a little girl...Marcus and I had decided to name her Joy, we were so excited... I was in my third trimester and one day, all of a sudden, I began to feel cramps and..."Viv closed her eyes briefly, "and then came the blood. It was over...I went through what you're going through...I know how much it hurts, I know how lost you can feel and I'm so sorry for you, baby girl..."

"How did you overcome this, because I don't know if I can..."

"I know it sounds a little cliché, but time is a great healer...But you have to let yourself mourn, you have to let yourself cry...The baby was real, you could feel your body change, you could imagine life growing inside you, you could picture your life with him or her," she said, as Sam let tears roll freely down her cheeks, "your plans, your new life also died with the baby and it's a lot to process and it will take time...But don't push away the people that love you...I did it back then and I had never felt so alone in my life...We all love you Sam, so take and use our love..Cry for your baby, take time to heal your body and your soul and let us take care of you..."

Sam nodded as Vivian got up and hugged her younger co-worker. "shh it's all right, sshhh...I'm here"

Sam cried a couple of minutes in Vivian's arms, then pulled herself apart from her. "Dammit," she said, combing her hair with her fingers, "I'm a mess". Vivian said nothing but kept looking at her with kind eyes.

"Go Viv" Sam finally said, trying to erase the marks her make-up had left while sliding down.

"I can stay" Vivian offered gently.

"There's a kid lost somewhere and right now, he's our priority. I'm ok...not terrific, but ok..Go, I'll get by. Just..."

"Yeah?"

"Can I stay a few more nights at your home? I mean...I really don't wanna be alone tonight" Sam replied.

Vivian got up and kissed her young co-worker on her cheek, "Never ask. You're always welcome."

"Thanks Viv..." Sam mouthed as Vivian walked away to meet Jack. The two of them then took off to Jeremiah's parents to keep them posted on the progress of the case as Danny and Martin drove in tensed silence to Staten Island. 45 minutes later, Danny parked the black governmental SUV in front of a red brick house, lined with two beautiful plane trees.

"Not exactly a dodgy place…" Danny thought while walking towards the front door. He pushed the doorbell and a 10-year-old girl opened the door.

"Hello, who are you?" she said.

Danny squatted down, "Hi sweetie…I'm Danny and this is Martin" he said pointing at Martin, "We are from the FBI…We're policemen."

"Oh" the girl said, "Can I see your badge?"

"Ehm…" Danny said, surprised, "Sure, here it is" he told her, handing over his badge. While the kid was examining it with attention, Danny and Martin exchanged an amused look. They quickly quit smiling though, remembering they weren't supposed to be friends anymore.

"Ok. It looks real" she eventually said, a very serious look upon her face. "Why are you here?"

"We would like to talk to D…" Martin began but was cut off by a voice coming from inside the house.

"Savannah, who's this?" the voice said, coming closer. A tall handsome guy appeared on the doorstep and wrapped his arm around the little girl's shoulder in a very protective way. "Come here" he whispered, then locked his big green eyes on the two agents' ones.

"Who are you?" he asked, not aggressively but not nicely either.

"They're policemen, Derek, I checked…" Savannah replied proudly.

"Good honey, now go and play to your room…" he said. He watched her go away, then turned his head towards Danny and Martin.

"Sorry about that, my sister can be very forthcoming…"

"We noticed." Danny smiled, "It's ok"

"What can I do for you, guys?" he asked, now worried.

"I'm Special Agent Martin Fitzgerald and this is Special Agent Danny Taylor, we're FBI" Martin introduced Danny and himself.

"FBI?" Derek asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Are you Derek Dooley?" Danny asked.

"Yes, I am…" he replied, unsure, "Am I in trouble?"

"We don't know yet. Can we come in?" Martin asked. Derek shrugged his shoulders "Sure, knock yourselves out."

They all sat down in the living room and Derek started to tap the armrest nervously. "So…What did I do?"

"You've been exchanging PM's on Facebook with Jeremiah Collins for the past few months" Danny said, opening his notepad.

"With Prince? Yeah, I have. Is it a federal crime now?"

"As far as I know, no it's not." Danny said, "but since Jeremiah is missing, we have to…"

"Jeremiah's missing?" Derek exclaimed?

"Yes, he disappeared last night. How did you guys meet?"

Derek seemed suddenly really embarrassed and looked away. "Well, you know…on Facebook…"

Danny plunged his eyes into his and quit the polite smile he had been wearing since the moment he arrived. "On Facebook, huh? Look buddy, this is serious…A 17-year-old is missing and trust me, you don't wanna mess with me."

"So I assume you don't know..." Derek sighed.

"Know what?" Martin replied, exasperated.

"We met on the forum of 2 b e g a y . u s, alright?" Derek answered, his green eyes fixed on Martin.

"So you're..." Danny began.

"Homosexual? Yeah I am...Now that she knows, my mother says it's kinda obvious"

"But Jeremiah is not..." Martin said, frowning.

"Well" he paused, "Actually, he is...Still in the closet, though"

"Jeremiah, gay? It doesn't fit the character, no offense." Martin said.

"None taken. You straight guys think that we're all like sissies or something...Well, some of us are but we can be very masculine. I, for one, am attracted by rough, real men" Derek explained.

"Sure. Ehm...how is Jeremiah dealing with his sexuality?" Danny asked.

"Actually, pretty badly. He's only recently discovered or admitted that he was attracted by men, a couple of months, I'd say. He's confused and angry, you should really hear him talk, he loathes himself. I strongly encouraged him to do his coming out but he was too lost and too afraid."

"So this is what you were talking about on Facebook" Martin understood.

"Yeah, I thought it would be easier for him if people knew...He wouldn't have to hide or to pretend to be someone else. But I shouldn't have done it...He's not ready...You know, I was 13 when I knew I was gay, I only told my parents at 17 but it was all clear in my head...Jeremiah is still fighting against it...He thinks he's not normal, he thinks he's sick...He thinks he's a freak" Derek replied, a shadow coming over his face.

"When was the last time you talked to him?" Danny asked, his tone a lot friendlier.

"The day before yesterday, I think...We chatted a little."

"How did he sound?" Martin asked.

"What do you wanna know exactly?"

"Do you reckon he's capable of hurting himself?" Danny specified.

"Yes." Derek's sharp surprised the two agents. "I only met him once but I noticed cuts on his arms...He's lost, that's all. I don't think he would do something stupid but now you tell me he's missing, I'm worried."

"If he ran away, something had to trigger it...Do you have any idea? Did he talk to you about something?" Martin asked.

"Well," Derek said, thoughtful, "I think he's in love."

"What makes you think that?"

"Some lyrics he posted on his forum status, they're from Iris..."

"Iris?"

"Yeah, the song..." and as both Danny and Martin shook their heads in total ignorance, Derek added, "from the Goo Goo Dolls...Ok, I see it doesn't ring a single bell...Well the lyrics are something like : 'And I'd give up forever to touch you, cause I know that you feel me somehow,  
you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be…' blablabla, and the chorus : 'And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand '. The boy's in love and I'd bet he loves a straight guy. But I can't tell you more, we talk but..we're internet buddies, you know, we're not close."

"Ok, thanks Derek," Danny said, standing up soon followed by Martin.

"You will find him, right? He seems like a really good kid." Derek said, showing them out.

"We'll do our best, you have my word" Danny replied.

As they were out, Martin turned his head to Danny, "Do you think the same thing?"

"I think we should have a conversation with Dean Oldfied."

"Yep." Martin replied casually, rubbing his hands together in order to warm them up. As Danny kept walking, he stopped. "Danny…" he said, unsure.

"Yeah?" Danny turned around.

Martin kept quiet for a few seconds, then said "Nothing. Forget it". Danny saw a flicker of sadness flash through Martin's big blue eyes and he sighed heavily. He still did not know how they had ended up being enemies but he did know he hated that.

"Let's go" he said, then headed towards their car.

* * *

At the beginning, there's a problem with , I can't write the e-mail address


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